Me as an edgy stand up comic: Oh look at me burning whale oil and wearing bloomers, I’m so politically incorrect, check out my cutting edge victrola.  I say the edgy things everyone thinks but is too PC to say, like that anxious people shouldn’t eat watercress because it’s too exciting to the nervous system, and that one must always wear flannel petticoats so as not to catch a deadly chill.  Yeah, I’m offensive, I’ll tell you that excessively flavored food ruins the complexion, unlike those boring PC liars.