I am COMPLETELY fascinated by your work. It’s genuinely amazing and I was wondering if you had any advice for someone interested in taking on the dom lifestyle? I’m sure you’ve answered this question a thousand and one times but, if you could answer it one more time, I’d be so appreciative.

My first piece of advice is that for me it is a job and not a lifestyle.  Lifestyle I’m a submissive.  It’s work, much like any other work.  A lot of people seem to think it’s all glamour and ease and doing whatever nasty things you want to rich men who pay you lots and lots of money while you wear fabulous clothes.

The reality is answering a lot of emails, doing a lot of emotional labor, doing a lot of self promotion work, and indulging the kinks of people with enough money to pay you.  It’s a job and it’s not an easy job.  It’s a job that requires skill with the equipment, and business sense, and organizational and people skills.  The pay check can be very nice, though it can also be very feast or famine and if you aren’t on the ball, and hard working you won’t make money.

My major advice is have someone you check in with, know your legal codes, use a lot of lysol and clorox wipes on your gear, don’t let clients bully you, don’t go in thinking that this is about you as a person or expecting some kind of personal enlightenment or development of personal awareness, treat it as a job and you’ll be a lot happier doing it if you choose to do it.

That said there are a lot of young women out there these days who think they want to do this because it seems “edgy” or “cool” or “fun” without realizing that it is in fact a job.

Join IU 690 of the IWW while you’re at it.  We’re awesome

Oh, and don’t undercut my goddamned rates, I gave you advice so that’d be in pretty bad form.

If you’re actually hoping to be a lifestyler and not a pro, my main piece of advice is: Remember lifestyle dommes are in huge demand so you can be as choosy as you please.