15 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Working

thepeacockangel:

1. They’ve got shifty eyes
2. You find a horse in the stable where your horse oughta be.  
3. They explain the horse away as a milk cow.
4. IDK screaming? 
5. They tell you “I think this relationship isn’t working”
6. Uncontrollable itching
7. “Here I Go Again On My Own” by White Snake playing constantly in the background
8. They correct your pronunciation of hasenpfeffer
9. A flock of ravens passing westward over your house
10. Your orchard blooms out of season
11. Roosters laying eggs
12. Old women cross themselves when you pass by
13. The well goes dry
14. Bad harvest
15. You can’t stop reading these goddamn stupid listicles about whether or not your relationship is working.

This is one of the best things I’ve ever written