it’s not even funny, I’m like “I know that feel, Henry Sacher Masoch-bro” with the desire for the unattainable object of desire, the ideal love being a lover of whose love you are unworthy because clearly you’re with the best possible partner then, they have greater value than you and so in a weird way you’ve won.
The objectified ideal dominant, who enjoys using your desire for them against you is almost never what real dominants get off on, but my understanding of the desire for this untouchable ideal of desirability, of beauty is what makes me a good prodomme, because I know what they want because of what I want
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 