i tend to be a relatively private person about my experiences as a lifestyle sub but i just wanted to say that i was not even remotely able to process my trauma or even give genuinely informed consent until i was in a relationship w a Dom w a structure where someone who cared and understood my needs was directing my behavior in healthier ways. i have improved so much w this. i dont feel bdsm is immune from critique at all but its also been 100% healing from trauma, not reinforcement