I think the idea that the behavior of oppressors is what behaving like you are free of oppression looks like is wrong.

Like I think that style of behavior exists only as long as there is someone to dominate.

The behavior of oppressors is as much a result of their being oppressors, as much, if not more than, the behavior of oppressed people is a result of being oppressed.

Which is not to say they’re not benefitting, they are, but their behavior is still modeled by the fact that they are an oppressor class, that they have someone to oppress, that they get away without fulfilling their obligations to the rest of humanity, that they are above certain rules.

Which is not to say that how we behave as an oppressed group is the model of freedom either.

This post isn’t about criticizing oppressed people for not being nice enough, or any of that shit.  Because that’s self defense, that’s different.

I guess I mean like “manliness” is often about showing disregard for others.  It’s masculine to sit with your legs wide open on the subway, and dress like a slob and put zero effort into your appearance and you get away with showing no consideration for anyone else because you’re reminding marginalized groups that they’re in an inferior position.  Masculinity is a performance of superiority, of contempt