whoremoantherapy:

leighalanna:

thepeacockangel:

Is there a polite term for full service sex workers that’s shorter and more generally understood?

i tend to use sex worker as generally as possible, and let people pick up whatever detail they need to pick up from the context. 

my theory is, “if you don’t know what kind of sex work i’m talking about from what i’m saying, then it probably isn’t that important for you to know exactly what kind of sex work.” 

and so by the time i really do need specificity, it’s not so convoluted to say “full service sex worker.” 

I don’t think it serves full service workers to use the umbrella term when referring to issues only full service workers deal with, which I understand to be the context in which this question was posed. In general, umbrella terms seem only useful for political organizing.

It’s the same reason I don’t use the term “queer” to define myself as a lesbian trans woman. Not only is the average queer identified person I know neither gay nor trans, their communities are largely oppressive towards both trans women and lesbians.

Similarly, most of the women I know who use the term “sex worker” are not full service workers and tend to enforce stigma by differentiating themselves from us while at the same time appropriating our oppression. And even worse, many of them ARE actually full service workers yet claim they’re not in order to differentiate themselves from those of us who explicitly are. For example, pro dommes who claim they’re not full service because the sex they have with clients isn’t heteronormative or sugar babies who claim they’re not full service because they either don’t charge hourly or accept payment through goods instead of money.

And this is actually a way bigger problem for someone like me than it might at first seem. I think the thing that originally got me involved with sex worker tumblr was I wrote a post that went viral about how I wasn’t going to attend NYC’s International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers event for the same reason I don’t involve myself with any sex worker advocacy groups: because they’re hostile environments for me. Every sex worker advocacy group I’m aware of here is run by white cisgender women who parlayed their experience as non-full service workers into professional advocacy jobs that wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for women like me…who are almost entirely unrepresented in paid positions in their organizations.

On top of that, they almost all have at least one person working for them who has at some point expressed blatant transmisogyny in a public forum. So not only have they built advocacy careers on the backs of women who they shouldn’t be speaking for, but I can’t even safely access the resources they offer.

I know I’ve went off on a huge tangent here, but basically if someone were writing a story about someone like me I would want them to only use the term “sex worker” with appropriate context. Like maybe have the protagonist identify as a sex worker, but then also when she’s at the precinct after being arrested show a really privileged pro domme being dragged in and yelling, “This charge is bullshit! I only fucked him with a strapon, that’s not real sex! Get me away from all these gross tranny whores! I’m going to call [insert sex worker advocacy group of choice] so you’ll be sorry!”

I mean, I am super privileged, I’m a prodomme, I do only legal work (no strap on, no CBT).  In my story, we have FSSWs, and non-FS workers as friends.  I know my social group includes FS workers (brothel and escort workers, Providence doesn’t really have street workers because of the legal history of sex work here).  

I really hope I’m not fucking this up.