Like a BDSM relationship is really just a relationship and the core dynamics aren’t “the dominant is dominant and the submissive is submissive” the core dynamic can be all sorts of things, and just because someone likes to be tied up, whipped, or humiliated doesn’t mean they can’t be coercive and/or abusive.
Like I’ve seen dominants of various genders be victims in abusive relationships where their abuser was a sub. Hell, my abuser was sexually submissive or at least claimed to be in the beginning.
I think it’s impossible to talk usefully about abuse and rape in BDSM if you can’t see past the D/s labels.
D/s couples have underlying dynamics. Someone may only be using that flogger because they’re afraid of what’ll happen to them if they say they’re not into it.
Never forget that.
(Trigger warning: Rape and abuse) Why Is It So Hard For People To Grasp That Dominants Can Have Their Consent Violated Too?
Published
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 