Genuine question not trying to start an argument.. But if you have preferences on someone’s gender or gender expression without being sexist, why can’t you have a preference for race without being racist..? I don’t mean like “I only date Asian girls lol” I mean like.. As I find blue eyes more appealing than brown, isn’t it feasible for someone to prefer darker skin? Even tanned skin to pale skin or something. Just a question

whoneedssexed:

If you’re going to “just ask a question” you could start with reading what you’ve gotten so far:

since i’m already pissing people off about ‘sexual preferences’

• it’s racist to say you’re not attracted to black people, or any racial or ethnic minorities
• it’s racist/islamophobic to say you’re not attracted to muslim ppl
• it’s racist/antisemitism to say you’re not attracted to jewish ppl
• it’s ableist to say you’re not attracted to disabled ppl
• it’s transphobic to say you’re not attracted to trans ppl

(original post)

Yes, these “preferences” are racist, islamoiphobic, antisemitic,
ableist, and transphobic, because these preferences are preferences
imposed by society.

Society says people of colour are undesirable.

Society says Muslims and Jewish people are undesirable.

Society says disabled people are undesirable.

Society says trans people are undesirable.

For what reasons would these “preferences” come into play, other than
discriminatory beliefs? For what reason would one find dark skin ugly,
other than because they are racist? For what reason would one find the
particular, defining traits of marginalized groups ugly and
unattractive, except from their own discriminatory beliefs?

(source)

The preference in itself is racist. It doesn’t matter if you think
you’re being nice about it, cutting off a marginalized group from your
dating pool for no other reason than their race, or their being trans, and etc, is in itself oppressive.

You say you’re not attracted to them, but why? You’re not answering that question. When you find them unattractive based on their race, that’s being racist. When you find them unattractive based on their being trans, that is transphobic. When you find them unattractive based on their being Jewish,
that’s antisemitic. How is it otherwise? You are literally saying to a
person, I find you lesser and do not want to date you because based entirely on your race I think you are unattractive.

You can’t say “I’m just not attracted to them”, because you know that’s not true, it’s not “just” anything. You are specifically finding traits you attribute to people based on their marginalized status and declaring that inherently unattractive.

(source)

Further reading:

if you say ‘i’m not attracted to [insert oppressed group]’ as a
definitive statement, you can’t possibly say that without resorting to
some kind of pre-conceived notion about them. asexual people aren’t
making a singular statement – they have limited/no attraction to
everyone, not just a specific oppressed group.

(source)

can you explain to me how, if you’re not attracted to someone based
solely on their race or ethnicity, that is NOT racism? if you’re saying
that you’re not attracted to all black people, the only possible thing
they have in common is that they’re black. you’re saying you’re not
attracted to black people based on their skin colour alone. how does
that work? how is that not racism?

(source)

RE: Your shitty “gotcha”.

preferences are what hair colour you like, not judging people solely
based on prejudices. you’re not attracted to black people. how is
excluding black people, based on just the fact that they are black,
anything but racist? explain it to me, please. black people have nothing
at all in common except for the fact that they are black. how can you
say so definivitely that you are incapable of being attracted to black
people? and how is it not racist to say that?

how do you know
you’re not attracted to disabled ppl? do you suddenly lose all interest
in someone when you find out they’re disabled? not all disabilities are
visible. or did you think ‘disabled’ and immediately jump to the idea
that you could never be attracted to someone in a wheelchair, or with a
visible disability? how is that not prejudiced against disabed people?
why are you assuming that disabled people have anything in common other
than being disabled?

you don’t have to be attracted to anyone, but
if you say that you’re definitively not attracted to a whole oppressed
group of people, based specifically on stereotypes about that group, how
is that not shitty?

(source)

And I mean, this is just some primer replies.

– damegreywulf

I think a lot of people are confused by this cause they confuse “It’s racist to say you’re not attracted to black people” with “it’s racist to say you’re not attracted to a particular black person”

Also obviously gender is different (not cis vs. trans obviously, saying you don’t date trans people is fucked up) but like excluding men or women or whatever is fine.