@thetinkerfae I don’t feel like clogging up that girl’s post after she’s like, said that she she didn’t know like the full spectrum of work, but since we were talking about this privately I’m glad it’s being said.
Personally I feel like if you deal with whorephobia in your life you can reclaim whore (as long as it’s not misplaced whorephobia ofc).
When whore was used as a slur there wasn’t as many types of sex work jobs; the internet wasn’t around but if it was I’m sure those people would have slung whore at online workers. Fetish workers have been around a while and while I can’t source it properly since a lot of my shit has just been from reading about sw since I was a kid (even if I didn’t mean to; but if you’re a history nerd you encounter sex work at a younger age, for instance I knew the levels of courtesans in 18th century France when I was eight), but fetish workers, especially dommes, were thought of as even more dirty and depraved, even by other sex workers. It was something no “respectable” courtesan would do, or even more normal sex worker. It was often what aging sex workers had to do.
As for exotic/erotic dancing, it has always been tied with being a “whore”. Even before modern burlesque, dancers often had patrons (more akin to sugar daddies), and they used their dance or act to get said men.
I mean really if you were an actress or a dancer people assumed you were a sex worker.
I mean ffs people forget the can can was originally a very dirty and nasty dance, since the dancers didn’t wear underwear the high kicks were… revealing.
Royalty even in ancient times had bawdy parties were sex shows were common, even if the performers didn’t fuck other people other than said partner. This goes back thousands of years.
So it’s not “whore is only directed at FSSW”, it’s just that men are lazy and didn’t feel like coming up with more slurs for different types of work. At least not words that still are actively slung at sex workers.
And instead of being like “x job is privileged but x job is the most marginalized” we should think “hey, maybe each job has it’s benefits and drawbacks”
If you don’t want to reclaim it; fine. no one is forcing you to. but if other people who experience whorephobia want to, I’m not going to shit on them. And when you add other axis of oppression it becomes more clear you can’t say “x is more marginalized”. Like a black disabled trans woman who cams solo is going to have a wildly different experience than a white, thin, able bodied cis woman escorting, etc etc. But the former woman can’t say whore? fuck that noise.
Tbh all black women can reclaim that word imo for that reason, even if theyre civilians imo. Which i know other people dont agree with but they get more shit than any white woman does so people who dont agree can kiss my ass for all i care lol
Yah I mean I’m not getting into that I think it’s a discussion for black women to discuss. N yah I think all black women can reclaim ho.
It’s really funny cuz ok, I started at hood clubs in a bad part of the city I used to live in n even in high school white kids were the minority I think I only had one white friend in our huge friend group and in my bf’s crew there was no white people except for me, n yah in the clubs we definitely used the word ho because we didn’t know know any other words, I didn’t hear the term sex worker until I was 20 and discovered sex worker tumblr so this was practically three years after I started, I’d heard adult entertainer but that was it. N like tbh at the clubs I worked at that weren’t bougie (which I didn’t start at until I was 19 ½ in san Francisco), “hoeing” was just what you called doing extras it was actually a really neutral term in those circles just like even to this day in certain clubs I worked at even in 2015 “sugar pops” and “trick” were interchangeable. Like if you had one guy taking care of you a girl would chatise you for relying on one trick.
So yeah that’s the vernacular I literally grew up around from when I was legally considered a child doing sex work, but it’s funny/uncomfortable seeing escorts on here who have never been in those situations or circles using ho, it’s like just some cutesy nonsense for them to jokingly call themselves. Like the kind of girls who never have to struggle to to “talk right” or code switch, like even white girls I know who grew up in rough areas struggle with that oftentimes.
And like besides the obvious race issues that’s why I talk so much about middle vs working class sex workers because it’s not about income or how much you make, it’s how you were raised in what type of family etc etc. Like especially in escorting more so than stripping, if you want to charge mid range prices you have to come off like some classy girl or girl next door who’s probably in college and besides this is a “good girl” which for a lot of us is really hard. Like I’m blonde and thin so a lot of times at first guys assume that about me but once I open my fucking mouth they just KNOW I been doing this a while n I been around the block fifty times and I’m not their college co ed wet dream. Even SD’s get intimidated and scared off
And I AM privileged being white and thin and cis, so I can’t even imagine how hard that is for girls who aren’t. But at least with stripping I can just act like a fun party girl n I don’t have to act like some good girl. IDK why but so many sugar daddies and clients want a good girl, like a girl that doesn’t ACT like a sex worker if that makes sense? God I’m rambling sorry. It’s just even things like class background affect sex work, like things you might not be able to see at first. And there’s some facets of sex work that accomodate that and some that don’t so that’s another not so cut n dry typa thing
That’s a really good point. Guys at the strip club are much more looking for that party girl vibe. I would even say that guys at the strip club want more of the “ditzy” or “trashy” strippers so that they can feel superior to them and pat themselves on the back for their touristy “ghetto” excursion. Whereas SD’s don’t see themselves as people who are consuming sex work…..they want to see themselves as this generous man who is helping out a “good girl” putting herself through school. They don’t want to think they are paying for a service. And more mid to high range escort clients want the fantasy of the classy woman who is just doing this for her own pleasure and is exclusive…….like an expensive brand item. So there’s code switching, but then there are other markers that they look for……like where the sex worker has traveled, access to expensive hobbies like skiing, and having an “exit strategy” from sex work. If you don’t have a privileged background, then you might not have those other markers as well.
You put it really well. There’s always the stripper who does the “smart girl” thing, and there is the more girl next door strippers, but usually the career ones play up the trashiness as much as possible, I mean I even knew one who went to south America to get string implants ffs!
But idk, I’d say it’s less about patting themselves on the back tbh, and ore of just wanting that fun party girl who’s really hot and will laugh at your jokes and have fun, like with none of the drawbacks of actually going to a normal night club and trying to get the hot girls to sit at your table and talk to you.
And at stage clubs of course it’s about showing off in front of their friends, I mean that’s what making it rain is all about.
There’s some guys who do search out the strippers who don’t seem like strippers yet (or the newbies, because older strippers are “jaded” but I can’t argue because they’re right and they’re the bread and butter for new girls). But there is even this trend with escorting that yeah, mid range they want a nice college girl, and high end they want a “classy” girl from a nice background, who’s able to talk about things that a girl from a lower class background really can’t. Like even if your family saved every penny and put some of the trip on credit, your family if you’re not from a bougie background probably did a carnival cruise or went to Disney Land or something, not skiing like you mentioned.
Stripping is ultimately one of the sex work jobs where you can be a top earner with only a middle school education and not having to put on airs, and where being obviously educated (because a lot of strippers have multiple degrees they just got for fun) and “classy” makes you a niche. Porn is the same way tho. I love watching porn star interviews, and the difference of questions Sasha Grey or Stoya got from say, Jesse Jane or Riley Steele is vastly different. Because the latter play into the bimbo stereotype, interviewers rarely ask the deep or thought provoking questions they’d ask the former. I’d also say that’s why Sasha and Stoya are so popular with civilian women too
Oh god I hate how many guys want the girl next door thing & how you need to do that “natural” makeup pretending not to be a hooker thing to get into mid range. I’m short, Asian & have a roundish face & my working age is 18/19, so when I try to look less trampy, I never look “sophisticated” I just look like jailbait & get a bunch of old white guys pushing my boundaries because they expect me to be this meek lotus blossom child & it’s so gross & triggering. I’m really strict about what I’ll let clients do & those guys just will NOT respect that because the whole appeal of an Asian 18yro to them is that they can pretend they’re molesting a child & having me try to take charge or assert myself ruins the fantasy 😷 Like, I legit don’t feel safe working without dramatic eye makeup & big heels & deliberately act bitchy during intros if it’s an older white guy.
Ok I don’t have to deal with the race stuff, but pretty much at every club I was the resident “jail bait”. I’m under 5′2″, and used to weigh well under 100lbs, I’m just really tiny (size 5 feet, 28 band size, only bracelets that fit are baby bracelets etc). I’d get so many guys being like “it’s ok if you’re not 18″ and like I was so grossed out. Evere since I started at 17 I told guys I was 21. That scared off some of the pedos and encouraged the other guys cuz if I was old enough to drink it wasn’t THAT weird spending money on me.
But I’ve gotten so many role play requests for either incest, naughty student, just every underage thing ever and of course I always got these weirdos in bad locations where I idn’t have the luxury of turning down money. It sucked. It still sucks. And then you see posts talking about how if sex workers do that we’re just terrible and one survival sex worker saying even THEY wouldn’t do that so obviously no survival worker should do it either (like um, no, short of hurting animals or wtv I will do what I have to do to keep a roof over my head and my dog fed I didn’t get in this to do the right thing I got into it to survive not to make friends). And the worst thing is some people who ran stuff would advertsie me as very young even when I’d say not to.
I mean with that look you’re describing tho it’d probably go over really well in the club tho.
I’m hoping if I can barbie up enough I won’t be jail bait anymore, the night I didn’t wear barely any makeup cuz I was at the salon 5 hours so I only had time for lashes and a teeny amount of foundation the staff at the club last week was like “wait how old are you? you look really young but you know, I thought you were older”.
I will say (and I’m tall and a prodomme, but I’m fairly tall 5’7, but narrow (32 band size and tiny hands) and used to have small boobs) guys got a LOT less creepy after my boob job.
I also know the fact that I can “talk right” makes a HUGE difference in my earnings as a PSO, cam worker and prodomme
I have no exit strategy and my hobbies are mostly ones that don’t interest dudes (though like I guess “I collect china” sounds fancy if you don’t know that what I really do is buy teacups I think are pretty at junk shops)
But like, I’m a highschool drop out, but I swear the high WASP accent is the best thing my parents gave me in terms of survival skills (if anyone ever needs accent help, I can do that btw)
Yah I can’t weight for a boob job but I really want to do face shit first.
I need to move to someplace less expensive but I can’t drive.
I’m kind of a high school drop out (left at 16 due to a mental breakdown, did a few online classes, graduated) but saying I graduated at 16 makes guys think better of me.
I so want to hear your accent now tho? Like I’m intrigued. You’ve mentioned it before, n I don’t have east coast family (my family is firmly great lakes region before some left to arizona, mostly all grand rapids but I lived near chicago for 11 year where mean girls was set). I forget I have an accent except people constantly ask where I’m from and when I have a few drinks my friends really point it out. Like I was getting a tan and kept saying it with two syllables, and like I squish words together honestly michiganders just slur shit it’s why I’m good at french pronunciation and struggle with languages that say each syllables.
teach me to talk like a fancy lady omg!
It comes out to the point of being funny when I’m drunk. I get very “darling, will you get me another little drinky”
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PlYbL5OoDl that’s me
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 