Privilege Problems

There’s a weird thing with privilege where like a lot of demonstrations of privilege are not things privileged people should stop doing. Like white men feel safer walking alone at night than women and POC do. Should white dudes stop walking alone at night? No. Do straight couples have an easier time living together openly than gay couples? Yes. Does that mean they should stop? No. 

But then like sometimes “a demonstration of privilege” is used to mean some behavior that the does need to stop, like men relying on women for domestic and emotional labor or white people touching black people without their consent and I think the lack of a line between “something oppressed people need to be free to do” and “something privileged people need to knock off doing” leads to weird confusion where dudes are like “Are you telling me not to walk at night?” and I’m like “No, but women have to be vigilant in a way you don’t, so like try to give them space and not make them feel threatened”.

Cause like what would dudes who are trying not to make women feel threatened not going out at night get me?  A night full of actively hostile dudes and dudes who don’t care which is an even more threatening prospect cause there are even fewer potential helpers out there.

I feel like oppressed groups are denied basic rights, which are things everyone should be allowed, like being able to walk alone safely at night and oppressor groups are given privileges to treat oppressed groups in ways no one should be treated, like the freedom to touch people without their consent and not receive any repercussions.

You see what I mean?