Men who are like “Oh I’d love to be *insert kind of sex worker here*” are so funny to me

optimistic-pepperoni:

carnistprivilege:

mashingitlikegailthesnail:

thepeacockangel:

Cause like 1. Male strippers, escorts and so on exist.  They just mostly see men.

2. Even if you got to see women, lol, no you wouldn’t, and not cause the women are unattractive or whatever, but because you don’t get that it is absolutely not at all about you.  You’re at work, you’ve got to do work, meaning emotional and sexual labor to get your client in and make them happy and it’s not about your ego or personal satisfaction and like not in a way that “I love pleasing women” guy (ugh ugh ugh hate hate hate that guy) would like.  Like if you were a dom, it’s like having to act like you really really want to watch your online sub drink a glass of her own pee, or like nothing would arouse you more than grabbing a lady twice your age who wears really headache-inducingly strong perfume and sticky hair product by the hair and stuffing your sweaty socks in her mouth or having a sub announce she steals one of her coworkers used kleenex out of the garbage and having to act amused instead of grossed out.

Or if you were a stripper you have to act like you’re super duper interested in and impressed by her job as a mid level manager at costco while having to keep every conceivable part of your body hairless and gyrating sexily close enough but not too close to her groin.

Or like if you were cam model you’d have women popping into your room, asking for your dick size, and then calling you a liar cause you won’t show them till they pay you.

(other sex workers feel free to add)

Having to invest time, money & effort into doing things to your appearance that you don’t give a fuck about & may actively dislike.

Pretending to come from having an unattractive person you have nothing in common with rub the spot on yr groin RIGHT NEXT to your dick.

Constantly trying to explain basic safer sex practices to people 20+ years older than you.

acting like you care about some middle-aged lady’s relationship problems

listening while she explains to you in loving detail how she can’t have an orgasm; smiling, nodding, making eye contact through the webcam, acting appropriately sad and sympathetic while she complains

staying sultry and sweet while some lady at her desk in a fucking pants suit tries to dicker you down for your per-minute rate over skype, one hand down her slacks the whole time you’re talking to her

getting on your public cam and posing yourself carefully before you actually start playing your video game; losing money when you turn up the difficulty and have to really focus on playing instead of talking to all the people in your chatroom

another girl tips for ANOTHER cumshow – this is number 4 tonight – oh god, HOW are you gonna get going for her??  SHIT.  frantically contemplating the striptease opening credits scene of barbarella as you shove your hand down the front of your pants, moaning as loud as you can.

trying to look impressed when an old lady brags about how she has a boy like you in every town and all of the ‘tricks’ she uses to hide it from her “boring and pathetic” husband

sweetly nodding when she tells you how many boys like you she’s seen, that you won’t last more than a year and your youth and good looks will be ruined by then

trying to pretend an old lady you find physically and mentally repulsive just fills you with lust and desire and making it convincing 

still trying to look turned on when she demands you enthusiastically lick her bad smelling and odd looking genitals