When the body was first created, there was contention
among the component parts as to who was going to be the boss.
The brain said, "Since I am the nerve center that controls
everything and does all the thinking, I should be the boss."
The feet said, "Since I carry all the friggin' weight, I
should be the boss."
The hands said, "Since I must do all the manual labor and
earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the
boss. "
The eyes said, "Since I must look out for all of you and let
you know when danger lurks, I should be the boss."
And so it went with the ear, the lungs, and various other
component parts of the body, till there was no one left but the
anus. All the others laughed when it made its bid for bosshood,
for who ever heard of an anus being boss of anything? This
rebuff upset the anus so much that in a pique of anger it closed
itself off completely and refused to function any further.
Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached,
the feet were too weak to carry the load, the hands hung limply
at the sides, and the heart, lungs, and the rest of the component
parts struggled to keep going. They all capitulated to the anus,
and it finally became the boss.
While the others did all the work, the anus just basked and
let out a lot of hot air along with the other material it is the
anus's function to let out.
The moral of this little episode is that it takes no special
talent to be a boss - so why have one if everyone knows how to
work together in harmony? Think about it.
Madeira Darling is a snarky mystic, devout Satanist, serious Marxist, laughing dominatrix, and writer from San Fransisco where they live with their boyfriend in a house full of altars to their various demons.
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