i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be
yeah cool and make young parents, almost always mothers, never leave the house again and socially isolate and publically embarrass em cuz they can’t afford babysitters for years, cool idea.
at what point as a culture have we decided to hate on kids collectively. is it since the invention of refined sugars, I wouldn’t surprised if there was a connection.And then be surprised when the children have zero social skills because they’ve been told they’re not welcome on account of Not Being Real People But Dogs Are Totally Ok.
…wow the comments on this are fucking scary. How many of the people going ‘yes ban kids from public spaces’ are also feeling disrespected by baby boomers?
Do you fuckers not understand that Children. Are. People.
I’m conflicted about this, and I think it’s because the children that are most disruptive are the offspring of people who do not believe Children Are People, and that is the whole source of the problem.
I absolutely think that’s true. We need to allow for the fact that kids are adults in training and will often require our patience and leniency. BUT they respond much better to being treated with respect than, by default, as a nuisance.
Kids in adult spaces are in a very difficult position. They are in a place where they can’t play freely, because it might disrupt the peace- so it’s up to adults who require them to behave with more control to include them and offer them something in exchange. Like, shit, it’s not fun when you’re five and there’s a family dinner and all the adults are talking about adult stuff you don’t understand, no one wants to talk to you because they’re not interested in the things that fascinate you, but you’re also expected to sit quietly and politely for as long as the adults need you to. And follow certain rules you might not even know exist yet. And not interrupt the conversation because whatever you say is not as important as whatever adults have to say, for some reason.
People often don’t realise how much self-control they actually demand from children. There was this excellent post once about how yes, you CAN take walks with your toddler, if you just account for the fact that they take smaller strides and walk slower than you. Scale down the experience. Make it inclusive. Make it enjoyable for everyone. Kids are People, and Kids are Not As Experienced Or Capable As You.
And also chill with the reactions to kids existing- soooo many people get all annoyed if they just hear a child’s voice. But if an adult says something a little louder, or does something clumsy, it’s no big deal. Every time I take an airplane and there’s a little kid, their babbling and whimpering and, yes, even crying is way less annoying than the exasperated sighs and demands to ‘shut that kid up!’ from entitled adults around me. Like, ok, the baby’s a baby, what’s your excuse for being rude and disruptive?
Whenever I see a child at a restaurant being ignored by their parents I try to engage the child in peek-a-boo or waving or just smiling. I know how bad social anxiety is, and I want to do my best to make sure no one else is forced into it – by making sure that being in public is a desired thing for the child.
It has the side effect of reducing crying and yelling, because the child is too entranced to think of crying.Ultimately, I wish children were treated like dogs, in that people look forward to seeing them and interacting with them, even complimenting them. And that dogs were treated more like children, with owners watching out for them and there not being regulations treating them as pariahs to be hidden or shunned.
This whole hating on children trend is so ugly
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT holy crap
Even if you don’t like kids, be nice to them, treat them with dignity. They did nothing to you, especially not purposefully. A child won’t understand why an adult is being mean to them, but the psychological and emotional toll will be very real for them.
Yeah I mean I think there’s a tendency to treat dogs and children like they’re “bad” when really it’s whoever’s watching them that’s doing a shitty job. That screaming kid isn’t an asshole, their parent just isn’t respecting the fact that they’re a kid with their own needs. Similarly, if your dog chews shit or pulls on the leash they’re not being an asshole, they just don’t know the rules and you didn’t take the time to teach them
I’m not down with the hating on parents thing either. Just cos my kid cries or does something that inconveniences adults doesn’t mean I’m doing a shitty job – it means the kid’s a kid and can’t be expected to handle things in the same manner an adult can. You don’t “control” kids. You do the best you can with them, allow them to be children, and accept that sometimes they’re going to do things adults find unpalatable. There’d be so much less bad parenting if adults didn’t feel like they had to be perfect parents ALL THE TIME, and tend to the feelings of the other adults around them instead of tending to the kid themself.
Nah I meant more if you’re like taking kids into situations where it’s unreasonable to expect them not to be disruptive because they’re bored to tears without good reason and then people blame the kid
I’m more on the “don’t blame the kid and hey the adult is probably doing the best they can given the circumstances” train.
Like no it isn’t a good idea to bring a baby to a movie theatre, pero if you have some earbuds and you haven’t been out of the house for a fucking month and you think you might eat the kid if you’re without something fun for another twenty minutes, just bring the baby it’s fine, you can step outside if the kid cries. People are way too critical of kids AND their caretakers.
Sidenote: When M was two, his dad and I took him to a diner at 1:30 in the morning (when his dad got off work, he worked night shift and we were on his schedule so to M it was maybe early evening) to get french fries as a treat. M stood in the booth and waved to the people over his dad’s shoulder and this fucking asshole went on and on about how it was “1:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING WHY IS THIS KID HERE”, and M was crushed that these people were angry with him and he didn’t know why. 20yo me just comforted M. 32 year old me would flip that shitstack’s fucking greasy-ass burger into his lap.
I mean in most cases, yeah… I agree with that, but like the park slope people who were like “UM WHY DOESN’T THIS ROCK N’ ROLL VENUE HAVE STROLLER PARKING” were being… a bit much IMO. Like movie theaters and what not, and needing to get out of the house I full on understand, but like you don’t need to be taking your baby to see Sonic Youth, the kid’s gonna be unhappy and a bad time will be had by all.
It’s like basically never working class parents who take their kids wildly inappropriate places and then act like “WHAT?” when the kids acting up and the people around them are unhappy.
It’s like bougie parents who can afford nannies who are like “It’s not my fault you didn’t provide adequate stimulation for Jupiter and Prairie at this display of priceless glass vases”
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 