The iconography of sexual submission is sort of… separated into gender coded categories and I think they’re sort of coded like this (this is not to say this accurately reflects individual people’s desires/motivations, but that like the depictions in most bdsm porn are coded this way, and like cultural perceptions about the motivation for this behavior are considered differently based on gender):
Masculine coded masochism/submission is associated with the tradition of courtly love, the willingness to subjugate oneself to the object of one’s desire, to go on the quest, to be enslaved by love. To prove oneself to the desired object. It is about desiring someone so intensely that you act *for* them.
Feminine coded masochism/submission is associated with the desire to be so intensely desired that one is sexually “devoured” by one’s lover. It is about someone wanting you so intensely that they act *upon* you
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 