John Berger – Ways Of Seeing

I think I want most of all to observe as well as to be observed. I desire a partner who revels in being desirable to me as well as desiring me… revels not only in my desire but in the knowledge of their own desirability. They watch and watch themselves being watched. A lot of fem dom iconography is based upon the idea that women should get off on the power of being desired… and that feminine power resides in passively being desired rather than pursuing the objects of one’s own desire. I don’t think enjoying one’s own desirability is inherently a problem, enjoying being watched and desired… I think the fact desire for another and the desire to be desired are fractured and separated from one another is the problem. I think that one of the reasons I’m a sub is because I want a partner who wants to be worshipped for their desirability, who doesn’t see that as a weakness, while also desiring me. I don’t sexually enjoy being worshipped, because if I am a deity, what does some mortal have to offer me? I am reduced to the role of a statue of Venus. I also do not want to have to “be the man” in that I am to desire without being physically desired. I think perhaps I like the bimbofication/transformation scenarios I do because in a certain way it’s me going “okay, I desire this person, what can I do to make myself desirable to them, to make myself an appealing object of observation to them?” because someone interested in having me turn myself into their ideal lust object specifically due to their erotic appeal is initially aroused by being desired (as displayed in the willingness to modify my appearance extensively, suffer pain and humiliation *for* them) but then desires me once I’ve made myself into the thing they desire, if that makes sense.