vorematty:

vorematty:

I know ive discussed it before but. blind sex positivity is counter productive. telling girls to have sex can be equally as harmful as telling girls to be ashamed of sex. especially 20+ year old women talking about “sex positivity” to 15, 16 year old girls. even if you mean well, it can be harmful

this sounds anti-feminist so let me rephrase. the normalization of female sexuality is so so so important and a huge step in the right direction when done correctly. in a perfect world nobody would be ashamed of their sexual history or their sex lives. but that’s not how it is, and when i was fourteen or fifteen, even sixteen, i was force fed this idea that sex was empowering, and it got me into sexual situations that were consensual but still traumatizing because i was too young and too unprepared to handle them. i am ashamed of it. i live with that shame still.
sex positivity is important. it is vital. but putting “be a slut, do what you want” over pastel backgrounds and encouraging girls to be a Ho or whatever isn’t doing shit. we need to teach girls how to know when they’re ready and have knowledge of how to handle situations. we need to give girls a safe way to own their sexuality. we need to teach and guide girls to make safe and educated decisions about sex. we need to teach girls that while there is nothing wrong with having sex, there are repercussions. we need to fucking protect girls

and I had sex at those same ages that was awesome and empowering and I think the real truth is, sex itself isn’t empowering, making sexual choices based on your own needs and desires is empowering,

Sex is only empowering if you don’t feel obligated or pressured into it, and are in a space to handle it.

Also IDK about other people, but I was ready to have sex with women (or well other girls my own age) well before I was ready to get it on with dudes and I think that might be true for a lot of bi/pan people because like the power dynamic with a dude would have been harder to negotiate at that age.