Today I had a client with a wedgie fetish, who kept switching what roleplay he wanted.

I was a cheerleader, a politician, a flight attendant, a scientist, a waitress, a salesperson, a nurse, a churchgoer, a boss, a green tech innovator, a cop, and a drill sergeant, and also a librarian in the space of like half an hour.

All obsessed with making wedgie based puns and giving him wedgies.

“W-E-D-G-I-E, what’s that spell? WEDGIE!” “Wedgie boy, wedgie boy, tighty whitey’s up his ass, wedgie boy wedgie boy late to class”

“Wedgies are the eco-friendly future of bullying, we’re here to disrupt the wasteful, unsustainable use of the swirlie”

“Well, I’m a librarian, I’m here to help with your wedgiecation”

“This is flight 101 on Wedgie airlines, now departing for Wedgietown population, you.  Please fasten your tighty-whiteys and prepare for take off”

“The special today is the Wedgie, which is made with locally sourced organic cotton tighty whiteys, served with a side of YOUR ASS, which pairs nicely with the swirlie cocktail, discounted for holders of our “fucking nerd” discount card”