We have to play whale song during sex because Harriet’s vaginal muscles won’t unclench otherwise

I make sure my daughter eats plenty of pie so I won’t resent her for competing with me as I begin to lose my looks

Thanksgiving is so much more peaceful since I murdered my family of origin

I got into gardening after I was told I could never have children. I still dream of babies sometimes… but in my dreams they have such sharp teeth

Angels or as we Satanists like to call them “god pigs”

Finally, Charles had a place from which to plunder and hoard the world’s resources in peace

Episode 16: Where There’s Smoke

Clotilde refused to get used to living in the country

Brunch will be fresh pears and a profound sadness

When the snow melts they may find the bodies, but I will be long gone before then.