Tag: BDSM

The Censoriousness Of “Sex Pos”

Like, I like what sex pos is supposed to be, but honestly let me tell you how the relentless “kink comes from a place of sweetness and light” party line is fucking exhausting.  Let me tell you that my sexuality is a dark, ugly fucked up place that comes from places of being profoundly damaged in a lot of ways.

A lot of the way I fuck is a coping mechanism, but it’s a healthy coping mechanism.  I’m not damaging myself.  I understand what I’m doing and why.  But it is scary and it is ugly and it is NOT FUCKING SUNSHINE AND FLUFFY BUNNIES.  It shouldn’t have to be sunshine and fluffy bunnies to be valid and okay.

Sometimes sex is fucked up and weird and unsettling and gross and you know what?  To quote the Backstreet Boys, I want it that way.  I don’t want my sexuality to be palatable and nice and accessible and friendly.  I want it to be seedy, and unsanitized and ugly.

I want it to be grotesque and dirty.  Making it friendly and cheery utterly undermines what I’m about.  My sexuality is adversarial.  My sexuality is prickly and ugly and cold unless I invite you in.  My sexuality doesn’t want your acceptance.  It wants to push away everyone who I do not expressly choose. 

Like I don’t think my sex life is revolutionary or the solution to patriarchy, but my breakfast also isn’t revolutionary or the solution to patriarchy.

Like questioning whether I can be a feminist based on what I do with consenting adult (at this point there is only one) in my bedroom sounds an awful lot like questioning my “sexual morality” or “self respect”.

Leave me alone, not everything I do has to be revolutionary

officialputin:

It makes me so angry, sad and scared that there are 14 year old girls on this site that are being brainwashed into thinking that BDSM is a positive, healthy and normal thing in a relationship. Guess what? IT IS NOT. It’s literal abuse. Why is wanting to hurt and humiliate the person you love considered a healthy thing? Stop brainwashing kids, you perverts. You make me SICK.

Found this on my dash this morning.  I’m so fucking tired of this shit.  Like, I’d rather they know it exists and be able to differentiate a desire for pain during sex and abuse, because I didn’t get that, and I ended up in a SERIOUSLY abusive relationship and I thought I deserved it because I got off on physical pain during sex.

So… no.

Also:

http://thepeacockangel.tumblr.com/post/89402162094/i-saw-your-post-in-the-kink-critical-tag-about

http://thepeacockangel.tumblr.com/post/90667695529/i-suppose-thats-where-we-differ-i-dont-feel-the

http://thepeacockangel.tumblr.com/post/93509214274/alright-so-we-all-know-that-sex-pos-is-no-longer

and most importantly:

http://thepeacockangel.tumblr.com/post/97144665359/trigger-warning-rape-and-abuse-why-is-it-so THIS

Being a female sub and as sexually selfish and self focused as male subs as feminist praxis.

I learn from you little motherfuckers, when I write erotica this is my standard.  Like pegging, it’s an act that pretty much involves no physical stimulation for the person giving, and a LOT for the person receiving, and yet the receiver is being submissive by taking it?

Mhm, yeah, nah, you’re getting waited on, motherfucker.  I write fantasies about doms putting a fuck ton of work in and subs getting to enjoy it without actually contributing a lot.

Because fuck you.

That said in my own bedroom, joy and generosity from all to all, but I’m gonna make my wank material as selfish as I fucking want.