Had really terrifying nightmare, was in my old room at my parent’s house, discussing which window we’d (me and husband) would jump from in case of emergency, because there is no fire exit. I said the one facing the swamp, he said the one facing the side yard, which had a strange fortified trench in it . Then we were outside looking at the house from the backyard, the back side of the roof was open like a doll’s house/and entire back wall was missing. We were discussing how we’d escape other rooms in case of emergency, I said the attic window. D said that’s terrifying. I said there’s an entire wall missing and like it’s fine. Then I was walking up the attic stairs and the blue ceramic Santa, a Christmas decoration from my childhood, was there (it was empty aside from this), which I recalled seeing in the basement earlier also in dream logic fashion it had grown to human size. I began to be afraid. I ran down the stairs running down one flight into a storage area where several more of the santas had appeared and finally to the safety of the ground floor but to my horror I realized it was not my parent’s house but a doll house with doll parents. Then there was an evil porcelain doll that I found in the book filled living room which then moved to my doll father’s room and killed him, then I woke up. Themes of gothic style familial decay, woke up so terrified I’m afraid to leave my bed, called husband (he’d forgotten his phone and my parents home phone to get someone to talk to me because I dread going downstairs alone. No one is home and the dogs will not stop barkng)
Going to attempt a Freudian analysis of this dream:
I was visiting with my parents and had had an argument about politics with my father. I had also visited my accountant the previous day, but had forgotten all of my documents. My finances were not in a great state and I had been discussing/considering moving back in with my parents.
The discussion of “escape in case of emergency” represents my fear of being “trapped” in my parent’s house once returning there and my general fear and embattledness.
The blue ceramic santa is my father (Santa being a symbol closely associated with my father, generous, and benevolent, terribly kind, associated with holidays, blue being the color now associated with the democratic party whose liberal values are associated with my father’s politics, as opposed to the red which is associated with my own communist ones).
The Santa being man sized makes sense given that I am represented by the “evil” porcelain doll (I often think of and identify with dolls, possibly because they are feminine and yet genderless which is often something I associate with myself).
After being pursued by my father I (in the guise of a doll and distorted so that I do not feel I am guilty of any crime) triumph by killing my father and becoming master of the house.
The doll’s house that is also my parent’s house which I become the master of is a representation of desire for both the comfort and safety of childhood with the authority and freedom of adulthood.
Blue Santa may also associate with blue Satan which is blue devil which is a reference to amphetamines and perhaps my anxiety over my own dependence on amphetamine based ADD medication especially their popping up to replace the “mess in the storage area” meaning they replace ADD with a dependance upon them.
The jumping out of the window may reference coitus, childbirth and also suicide/death.
Perhaps sex and a resulting pregnancy that create a child that is ultimately one’s “replacement” in the population
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 