Tag: feminism

Hate Reading “The Fascinating Woman”

Like 1. This quote is literally the worst thing I have ever read “We need to lay aside our self-righteousness and our feminine pride. We need to realize, that many modern ideas, though they sound good in theory, just don’t work in practice. Communism is one such example.” 

2. I find nearly everything about the traditionally feminine role except being pretty and maybe like being “nice” stifling and unbearable.

3. Despite all appearances to the contrary, according to this book, I’m absurdly unfeminine.

4. What would a world where we abolished gender roles in favor of everyone behaving based on the instructions of “the fascinating woman” look like?

I’ve noticed that even in feminist circles the less sure I sound when I talk about my ideas

The more likely people are to agree with what I say. The more “I think that maybe"s and “I might be wrong but I think it might be X"s and “do you ever think that"s "I kind of think that it’s kinda…"s and "IDK but"s I include the more people go "Yeah that sounds right”.

If I write like I’m sure people shoot me down, if I hem and haw and do the textual equivalent of blushing and looking at my shoes I get agreement… and like I kind of think that might be sort of fucked up, y’ know?

Masculine Coded Masochism vs. Feminine Coded Masochism

The iconography of sexual submission is sort of… separated into gender coded categories and I think they’re sort of coded like this (this is not to say this accurately reflects individual people’s desires/motivations, but that like the depictions in most bdsm porn are coded this way, and like cultural perceptions about the motivation for this behavior are considered differently based on gender):
Masculine coded masochism/submission is associated with the tradition of courtly love, the willingness to subjugate oneself to the object of one’s desire, to go on the quest, to be enslaved by love. To prove oneself to the desired object. It is about desiring someone so intensely that you act *for* them.

Feminine coded masochism/submission is associated with the desire to be so intensely desired that one is sexually “devoured” by one’s lover. It is about someone wanting you so intensely that they act *upon* you

Also like Friends was a shitty show in MANY MANY ways

but ALSO ALSO can we just acknowledge that the way that fucking show used the idea of the “Friendzone” is less fucked and terrible than the way dudes are using it now?  Cause like in the show it was basically “If you want to be with a lady, you have to make a move relatively early on” (which like is false, but also making your intentions clear is a VERY VERY good thing).

And now it’s like… somewhere where women put… men who are nice to them?

Yeah… fuck that nonsense.

At least Friends placed the onus on the person with the crush to make a move.

You know what I hate most? Dudes who “plausible deniability” hit on me. The whole obviously hitting on me but being juuuust subtle enough that if I call you on it, you can go “I was just being friendly!” and get offended.

I hate that shit.

Why “Haha Heteros” and “Haha Cis People” and so on are actually important political praxis

Okay so basically privileged people are fragile and in order to be able to actually discuss oppression we need to mitigate that fragility.  Working class people have a grand tradition of affectionately teasing each other.  We do this WAY more than bougie people do but we do this not to tear eachother down but to strengthen one another so that we can take it when the world comes to tear us to shreds.

When we tease cis people/het people/white people/men/etc we’re doing it to help them build a callous so that they can actually have a meaningful discussion when it comes time to discuss actual oppression, rather than them feeling injured and huffy.