I Love Telling Forced Fem Subs

“This wouldn’t be humiliating to you if you didn’t have totally warped reactionary ideas about gender. The only one making this humiliating for you is yourself.”

So a dude accused me of “using my body to get what I want and then complaining about nonexistent objectification and misogyny” when I’d been talking about misogyny in genres of music where I did the groupie thing. Like is using your physical sex appeal specifically to get sex not like the ONE time where “using your body to get what you want” is considered totally normal?

Which is not to say complaints of women using sex appeal for say… career advancement aren’t utter bullshit too, but like literally what other quality would I have used in that situation? I don’t think my experience with adobe photoshop or how many WPM I type are really applicable to getting casual sex.

I think it amounts to dudes not understanding that finding someone sexy is not the same as objectifying them.

Also like I identify myself as a woman politically

Because that is the gender people generally tidy me into, not because it is one I feel comfortable in. If I could edit my physical self so that I could always feel comfortable I would, but I can’t.

I’m trapped and it sucks.

I pass through the world perceived as a woman, and so materially I am one, I guess. It sucks though, beyond just the suckiness of dealing with misogyny.

Maybe Teenage Girls Would Write Fewer Mary Sues

If you stopped telling them that everything they do is a flaw.

(also fuck people who want teenage girls to stop writing Mary Sues)

Like being kind and emotionally open with another man isn’t what I’d call a radical act but it is what I’d call a good start.

I think sometimes het guys confuse friendship with something romantic

cause they don’t know how to be close with someone non-sexually, like their relationships with their dude friends are moderated through all these weird masculine codes where like touching and discussion of emotion are limited by this fear of effeminacy/homosexuality (and like it’s so deep they don’t even realize they’re doing it) and so like the only people they really talk about that shit with is their partners and so like they understand romance with emotional closeness.

Which like doesn’t excuse their behavior, just like reiterates how much of a problem toxic masculinity is and like if men want to do something feminist one of the best things they can do is emotionally connect with other men and like not be toxic towards other men.

Like the fact that Conan is believable as a heroic badass in tiny leather shorts

and a woman is not believable as a heroic badass wearing the same tiny leather shorts (usually because she’s been written badly and has been cast/drawn/etc based on beauty standards that value feminine fragility) is as much a sign of patriarchy as the fact that they’re always putting women in tiny leather shorts.

Another reason the “practicality” argument re: misogyny in costume design sucks

Like Conan the Barbarian is wearing this

and no one questions his badassitude and it’s still a power fantasy, not him being sexually objectified. In fact it makes him look like MORE of a badass because he can wear tiny impractical leather shorts and he still ends up with nary a scratch.

I don’t want women to have to be wearing “OMGZ SUPER PRACTICAL” armor to be believable as heroes.

You see what I mean? I want to be able to remain a power fantasy and not a sex object even in tiny undies.

I want you to BELIEVE the heroine is tough enough that she doesn’t need full plate armor, because she’s been written as a badass and not a sex kitten… also I don’t want her in a chainmail bikini in a setting where the men get full plate.

This requires more of media creators because it requires them to write three dimensional female characters rather than just letting them raise a few necklines and call it a day.

Actually Writing Women Who Are Like Edgy 90s Anti Heroes

Would be as edgy as the dudes writing edgy 90s anti heroes thought they were being.

Women NEVER Get To Be Spider Jerusalem

Like we never get to be fucking badass, but profoundly personally flawed and gross and unsexy and like a fucking mess but in a badass way not a tragic way. We’re always victims or villains when we’re a mess and it sucks.

I’m so sick of feminist media with these heroines who are just like blandly good, and like righteously badass in a nice socially acceptable way and respectable and modestly dressed and like pretty but not “too” pretty.

Fuck that. I hate that. Give me crass heroines who make dirty jokes. Give me drunks with hatchet faces. Give me women voices of a generation who are shit to be in relationships with. Give me women in “too much” makeup who are the deepest and most insightful people in the room and bitter as fuck. Give me women who are naked in a profoundly unsexy way, but aren’t humiliated or ashamed.

Fuck respectable “practical” armor that looks bland as shit, and fuck mindlessly sexy armor too. Give me shit that looks cool.

I don’t want to have to be nicer, sweeter, and less morally ambiguous than men to deserve my own story. I don’t want to have to be practical to be believable as a hero. Let me rush into battle in a fucking loincloth but not because you wanna see my titties. Respectable heroines make me gag. Give me women like the best of 90s anti-heroes. Give me gritty women. Give me complex not necessarily actually good women. Give me unlikable women who are still protagonists.

I’m so sick of women having to be angels to avoid being cast as demons.