Tag: feminist

I’d really like a character who looked like me but also got to be a three dimensional complex human being

Like in media, especially comics, my body type is not just represented but over represented but it almost exclusively appears in works written by douchey bros who hate women and can’t write for shit. I’d like a character who looks like me in an ensemble cast of women with diverse body types, and she’s dolled up and that’s part of who she is, but it’s not all and she’s not presented as better or worse than her friends, she just has a look she likes doing and does it, and even though she loves heels and leopard print miniskirts she’s not always sexy or sexual.

Okay, here’s the thing about misogyny, you grow up in a world being told that sexism is over, that you’re just as good as a boy… though of course boys and girls aren’t the same, lol what crazy radical feminist nonsense, you’re different, but you can do anything you want.

And you grow up and you notice little bit by little bit that the world doesn’t treat you equally, you’re more likely to be interrupted, shouted down when a man saying the same thing is applauded.  You realize that you’re not allowed to go out alone at night, or at the very least not allowed to feel safe if you do.  You realize that you aren’t allowed to just trust men, because if you expect them to be trustworthy, you will get hurt.  You realize that men can never see you as really just their friend.

You realize a million little awful things, and that disappointment aches, and what really sucks is entering a space that’s supposed to be fighting that, a space of radicals, of people fighting the system and having those million little wounds inflicted again, that not even here can you be anything, not even here can you feel safe.

Sisterhood

Using the idea of “sisterhood between all women” to silence oppressed women is so shitty.  Like pitting women against one another is shitty, and all, but you know what? 

It’s not on WOC to extend the olive branch to white women, or trans women to extend it to cis women or so on and so forth.  They are really really not obligated to do that.

When we’re the woman with privilege, we need to be the one to extend the olive branch.  We need to be the one to act sisterly before we can expect sisterly love and support from women who we benefit from systemically oppressing we probably have to act a lot more sisterly ourselves

I Feel Like It’s A Shame That So Many Radical Leftist Or Would Be Radical Leftist Women

End up doing exclusively feminist activism, and in particularly exclusively feminist activism that doesn’t involve taking steps to dismantle capitalism.

Cause like, I know it’s sort of “the party line” but I really don’t think meaningful liberation can be achieved while capitalism exists, but like dudebro leftists push women out of orgs, and make women feel uncomfortable accessing leftist work and theory, outside of feminist specific orgs, and so most anti-capitalist orgs are really dude heavy, and it sucks, and like I see so many women who question capitalism and have really good political knowledge on feminist issues doing stuff like confusing “socialism” and “social democracy” because like we don’t distribute the knowledge of leftist theory to women, we feel uncomfortable with the classical leftist texts like they’re not “for us” and IDK, it’s not cool.

An MRA was like

“I don’t doubt you’re married to a very nice man, I wish I could tell him that one day you’ll take all his stuff in a nasty divorce.”

and I’m like “I financially support my husband, I’d be the one paying alimony, and I have no intention of leaving him, ever, he’s awesome”

Seriously though, I’m so sick of the assumption that dude = breadwinner.

Also, women who are like “what’s wrong with her, why doesn’t she make him get a job?”  Because maybe I like taking care of my partner?  Because maybe he’s better than me at a lot of domestic shit?

Also I’m getting real tired of being called a man hater, I’d say to the point where I actually do hate dudes, but there are too many dudes (especially dudes who are for various reasons vulnerable) who matter to me, GNC dudes, gay dudes, dude of color, disabled dudes, working class dudes, and all the particular and specific dudes I know and love.

Also a dude just accused me of being against equality because I protect men who don’t conform to their gender role, but not men who do, and I’m like “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME A DUDE WAS BEATEN UP FOR WEARING PANTS, MOTHERFUCKER?”

I think the idea that the behavior of oppressors is what behaving like you are free of oppression looks like is wrong.

Like I think that style of behavior exists only as long as there is someone to dominate.

The behavior of oppressors is as much a result of their being oppressors, as much, if not more than, the behavior of oppressed people is a result of being oppressed.

Which is not to say they’re not benefitting, they are, but their behavior is still modeled by the fact that they are an oppressor class, that they have someone to oppress, that they get away without fulfilling their obligations to the rest of humanity, that they are above certain rules.

Which is not to say that how we behave as an oppressed group is the model of freedom either.

This post isn’t about criticizing oppressed people for not being nice enough, or any of that shit.  Because that’s self defense, that’s different.

I guess I mean like “manliness” is often about showing disregard for others.  It’s masculine to sit with your legs wide open on the subway, and dress like a slob and put zero effort into your appearance and you get away with showing no consideration for anyone else because you’re reminding marginalized groups that they’re in an inferior position.  Masculinity is a performance of superiority, of contempt