Tag: feminist

The fact that feminist discourse is so… trend based disturbs me

It’s not like “we progress” it’s like we have a trend cycle like fashion, and views on gender, and sexuality, and terminology and theory go in cycles.

I’ve been doing this for kind of a long time and been watching the cycle and I’m like “…sex-pos, sex-neg, sex-pos, sex-neg” and that’s how it goes and we never get actual nuance, and like sex workers are either “EMPOWERED!!!!!” or “TRAGIC!!!!!” (and I think that might be because if we admit to the actual nature of the problems in sex work, we actually have to question capitalism and that’s not allowed) and like whether we want gender abolition or additional gender categories goes back and forth on the hip opinion to have, and like femininity is cool, then it’s not, then it’s cool again, 

and like I’m just over it.

Straight dudes, if you’re trying to genuinely be just friends with a woman

Maybe don’t compliment her physical appearance?  It makes women uncomfortable because men are always lying to us about their intent.  Also because, no matter how pure your intentions 9 times out of 10 what we hear is “I’m going to steal a pair of your underwear to wear on my head while I masturbate.”

She has many other good qualities, compliment those instead.

When People Are Like “ZOMG The Commodification Of Sex!”

I really want to know what they think sex should be like?

Like no one is like “ZOMG the commodification of food” or “ZOMG the commodification of massages” so why sex?

Like isn’t it implicit in that message that sex is somehow “special” 

Sex’s “specialness” is what men use to demand feminine “purity”

Sex’s “specialness” is what society uses to justify the rape of women who sleep around.

The idea that sex should be special is utterly rooted in patriarchy and is founded on the denigration of women.

Also that one dude who was like “Breasts are a non-sexual part of the anatomy and if you don’t know that you have a lot to learn about feminism, you should send me a photo of your boobs” to someone on a dating site (the post has been floating around but I can’t find it)

Like, um… if a random dude asked for a photo of my feet I wouldn’t give it to him either because I know what you want it for, motherfucker.  Just cause it’s not a sex organ doesn’t mean women are obligated to send you photos of it.

Requests for photos of individual parts of another person’s body are A: Rude if you’re not intimate and B: Transparently about you wanting jack off fodder

Femininity as Filter For False Flag Feminism

This is from personal experience, and I’m not advocating it as an approach for other people, it just brings up some interesting thoughts about stuff:

I found it was easier to find a good guy who shared my lefty convictions the more dolled up I got, I think it’s because he had to actually mean it and not just have a creepy ‘natural beauty’ ‘don’t I deserve to be congratulated because of what excites my genitalia’ fetish.

Cause like how many dudes who are into fake tits and big hair are going to do the “I’ll get involved in feminism to get laid” thing?

Yeah, like when that dude is like “I don’t date non-feminists (unless they don’t identify as feminists because of the feminist movements failures with intersectionality)” that dude means it.  Like you get some douchebros, but it really clears out the “I’m a ‘feminist’ because I’m one of those dudes with a thing for girls with short hair who don’t wear makeup” (You know the ones I mean, they always seem to be kind of vaguely pedophilic to me, they normally like em’ quite petite and gamine and waify and ugh I HATE those dudes, they also really end up fetishizing lesbians and being really smug for not liking ‘regular’ girls) so filtering was much easier.

That said it got much harder to find ladies who were into going out with me, which sucked.

Beauty Standards

I feel like what people do to meet beauty standards is relevant most of all in how it indicates the internal damage they do, after all how much pain must that standard have caused to make a woman coat herself in carcinogenic chemicals, or subject herself to surgical intervention. I mean like, I’m incredibly impulsive, have no self preservation instinct, am a masochist and will do nearly anything people tell me is bad for me that seems like it might be fun or get me some kind of attention, including communism and a lot of unprotected sex, so my getting cosmetic surgery is just a function of my essentially unbearable innate personality, but for people who never ate half a cup of dirt or did a week of preparation to picked to get topless on stage with a mid-level famous rock band in the hopes of getting someone to pay attention to them, what must it indicate?

And BTW if a guy who is already misogynist has his negative views of women reinforced by porn

Then it’s because literally anything will reinforce his being a fuckin’ shitty dude, because he chooses to be a fucking shitty dude.  Do not absolve the dude.  This is his fault.

We need to get rid of those dudes.

Seriously.

http://greatist.com/happiness/does-porn-promote-negative-view-of-women

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-sex/does-watching-porn-make-men-sexist/

Can we actually just blame the misogynists for their being misogynists?  Quit saying “Men have seen porn, they can’t help themselves” 

They can so help themselves.  Do not blame images of people fucking.  Blame the dudes.