Today I had the horrifying realization that someone out in the world has a fetish for being sprayed by skunks

Is It Just Me Or Like… Is Human Sexuality Really… Fragile or Maliable Or Squishy or Something?

Like it’s so easy for sexual situations to feel wrong and bad and off and for even consensual sex to be upsetting and traumatic and like also it feels like our lives have effects on our sexuality that go much further and in much more extreme directions than they do on a lot of the rest of our basic drives. Like no one needs to wear a big bird mask to feel into eating food.

It’s sort of the reverse of pop Freudianism. Like everything isn’t about sex, sex is about everything.

Me at nearly 7AM having pleasured myself to Yolandi Visser’s hair for approximately an hour and 45 minutes, eating frozen mango chunks: it’s the really the little things that matter in life. Am I funny?

Mmmm sylph-y doe eyed alternative style icons of instagram

With weird haircuts and bold eye brows or no eyebrows or y’ know whatever cool people do now

Aww yea.

Current major fetish:

Watching women get super super short bangs/unusually shaped bangs (v, u, or like rounded, but they have to be super blunt)… what the actual fuck? What even is my sexuality? (I mean like pretty dang gay obvs but like what is it up to? Why is it doing that? Like BANGS TEENY TINY BANGS??? Seriously, how is that erotic?
I don’t even know, and I’m the one masturbating to it.)

It’s Weird I’ve Seen Under The White Bread White Collar Middle Aged White Dude Rock

It’s mostly women’s underwear and blow jobs, what’s under his wife’s rock?

Seriously, it can’t just be Magic Mike because that’s like saying under white dude’s rock is just like… Katy Perry.

I really enjoy interpreting my own fetishes through a Freudian Lens

I get the most beautifully horrible ideas