1. Smash the patriarchy
2. Stop getting mad at people for misunderstanding the second law of thermodynamics
3. Try to be nicer to creationists if they’re well meaning, but mostly just particularly focus on not yelling at them about the second law.
4. Start a sex workers industrial union
5. Become drunk with power
6. Abolish the police
7. More perfume
8. More dresses
9. More plastic surgery and tightlacing
10. If I can’t abolish capitalism I’d like to earn more money so I can at least do well within the system, but ideally abolish capitalism
11. Finish “Gimme Danger: An Artemis Grey Mystery” and Mother (a horror story)

Goals for 2016:

1. Get fertilized egg to attach itself to wall of my uterus
2. TBA

Goals for 2017:

1. Push human head out of vagina, after that the rest of the human will be easy
2. Begin raising tiny human to eventually take over world, but without being too obvious about what I’m up to