I’m Working on a Horror Short Story Inspired By My Dog

And D was like “Your muse is a 64-pound caramel coloured pitbull born on Halloween”

and I thought of the nine muses and imagined like:

  1. Calliope – Epic poetry
  2. Clio – History
  3. Euterpe – Music, Song, and Lyric Poetry
  4. Erato – Love poetry
  5. Melpomene – Tragedy
  6. Polyhymnia – Hymns
  7. Thalia – Comedy
  8. TerpsichoreDance
  9. Urania – Astronomy
  10. and Tonka – Horror

and then I was imagining Tonka in a Chiton and laurel wreath

Okay Listen Up

It’s okay to call the monster Frankenstein because we name shit after the people who invented it literally all the time.  We can call Dr. Frankenstein’s monster Frankenstein because we call zambonis motherfucking zambonis because they were invented by Mr. Goddamned Zamboni

Here are some motherfucking examples for you goddamned pretentious little lickspittles:

And that why that motherfucker is a goddamned Frankenstein. 

Anyway I’m off to drive my zamboni over to get in some target practice in with my kalashnikov while doing pilates in my jacuzzi 

Sometimes There Is A Kind Darkness

As much as we do say “it’s okay to like problematic shit” I do think there’s this weird pressure on the left never to express an interest in what’s dark, what’s ugly, because to express an interest is somehow an endorsement, or a lack of empathy.

Like you know, sometimes looking at photographs of awful skin sores isn’t callous prurience, and sometimes fascination is an attempt to understand what happened, what went wrong, how to stop it happening again, how to fix it. 

And you know what sometimes jokes about dark shit are about coping with it, about processing it, about dealing with it (this btw does not mean shitty standup comics should get away with their shit).

This isn’t a post-hoc excuse for bad behavior, for insensitivity, for cruelty or callousness, or failure to listen to people who are too often silenced.

I think though that sometimes there is a sort of callous insensitivity in the demand for cheer, in the demand for light, in the demand that people who have been compared with monsters for their whole lives never identify with monsters unless they’re the defanged cartoon kind.

It’s fucked because I see people getting away with horrible shit because of positionality in terms of their behavior on the one side, but people with similar positionality getting shat on for ever making art that is dark or ugly or scary, for having dark, ugly, scary things in them, and for having the audacity to say so, to show people what’s wrong  instead of performing purity and hurting others, passing their pain along.

Also like I think we’re living in kind of a golden age for horror movies with genuine artistic merit, not just like genre fun, but truly excellent pieces of cinema that deserve their place in the cinematic canon not just the horror one. Like we’ve had Crimson Peak, Lord Of Tears, Livid (French 2011), Byzantium, and now Green Room, like I think movies in general are not attracting the talent they historically have as many great screenwriters move to doing television, but we’re seeing a renaissance for horror and I’m really liking it.