Tag: humor

If boys need “boy” toys and girls need “girl” toys, like… how did society ever manage when kids were making do with unlabeled rocks and sticks that distinctly did not come in conveniently color coded pink and blue?

Speaking of which, you know what really burns my biscuits?

How deodorants have names that don’t tell me anything about what they smell like.

Some examples:

Old Spice Foxcrest: This tells me precisely nothing about your product’s scent and isn’t even actually a thing. 

Old Spice Swagger: Swagger is a verb, like I’m pretty sure of that, and also that generally verbs don’t smell like anything, you’re thinking of nouns.  My real question is, why did they think this was a good idea? 

Axe Anarchy:  Well at least it’s actually a word, and they also managed to find a noun so good for them.  Though Anarchy is a philosophical and political theory, do concepts have smells? Are they trying to find a nice way to say “punk stank”? Because that is exactly the opposite of what I buy deodorant for.

Dove Cool SIlver: That is a color.  Colors are not smells.  You are terrible.

Speed Stick Cool Force: Is it minty? Is it one of those acrid cleaning product smells which is what society has decided is what “manly” smells like?  Is it a cheaply produced French children’s show where the name wasn’t actually translated that well?

If I Have The Right To Defend My Home Using Deadly Force

Why shouldn’t I use the same amount of force to defend my internal organs? I mean if some fucker sneaks into my house even if I left the door unlocked, I live in a stand your ground state, I have the right to shoot them and you’re telling me if someone I don’t know and have never met takes up residence in my uterus I don’t have a right to do whatever it takes to get them out of there?

I See A Lot Of “LOL I Don’t Know How To Be Seductive”/”LOL I Don’t Know How To Dress in a Provocative Manner” Posts

And IDK, like I feel like I may be a mess in many ways, but if I want to do the doodley do with you-dly-you, you’ll fuckin’ know about it, and I’m pretty sure most of my clothes make me look pretty damned sexy as fuck.

Like if I wanna fuck you, generally I’m pretty good at making you wanna fuck me.

I have that down pat, but now I’m married and mono so like… I should probably give lessons