I have invented a meal that is simultaneously the embodiment of “I worked a horrible set of hours I deserve this” “I am PMSing and underslept to the point of hallucinating a little” and “God has forsaken us, no one deserves this"You start by carving up and frying some slab bacon, blearily forgetting to turn the heat down to a reasonable level. 

Then, once the pan is saturated with grease, remove the bacon and add two eggs to soak up the grease along with old stale French fries from last night because why the fuck not?  You scramble that into a hideous oozing mess, mix hot sauce and butter on a piece of white bread, put your awful egg mixture atop it, add salt and ketchup (any brand that isn’t Heinz, because your husband went to the whole foods and thus had to get their special ketchup, and is for this reason slightly weird in terms of its flavor profile will do) and eat while simultaneously contemplating the futility of everything and trying to remember what you said five minutes ago because your working memory is shot from lack of sleep.