And how in a lot of cases a sex worker is a safer partner for these scenes than someone who’s sexually gratified by playing with stuff the survivor’s trying to work through. Gonna write more on this after I sleep .
Tag: kink
Also my first ship was Rapunzel/the witch
Which like covers so much about me, the trichophilia, the bdsm, the mommy issues, the gayness… Really it’s the perfect storm
Why are there more subs than doms?
But the fact that there are more subs than doms in:
The lesbian BDSM community
The gay BDSM community
The het femdom community
And a roughly equal number of subs and doms in the het male dom community makes me wonder if most people are naturally submissive, but men have been socialized to dominate women even though apparently almost no one actually likes being the one fiddling with bondage equipment
It also makes me think we need to reexamine this whole submission requires a higher standard of consent than dominance, because I’m increasingly sure almost no one actually enjoys being dom.
It’s Weird I’ve Seen Under The White Bread White Collar Middle Aged White Dude Rock
It’s mostly women’s underwear and blow jobs, what’s under his wife’s rock?
Seriously, it can’t just be Magic Mike because that’s like saying under white dude’s rock is just like… Katy Perry.
MD/AD
My kink is mommy dom adult daughter.
So you know, being generally critical of my romantic life, life choices and fashion decisions.
“I’m not sure that dress flatters you”
“You look better when you had your hair that other color”
“I just don’t know why you can’t seem to settle down”
“Does this cake have store bought icing?”
“I don’t like how you have your eyebrows”
I Think The Reason Being A BDSM Bottom Is Enjoyable Might Be Explained With A Combination of Two Factors:
1. The sunk cost fallacy: Meaning the more you “invest” in something (time, money etc) the more valuable you believe it is.
2. Our brain is our most important sexual organ: Meaning that the better you believe sex is the better it is.
So, because you went through pain/humiliation/etc to get that orgasm, you believe that orgasm will be better and because of how the brain works, the more enjoyable you think your orgasm is going to be the more enjoyable it will be.
Tops may enjoy it in part because A: they’re reflecting their partner’s heightened (sunk cost fallacy) based enjoyment, B: May be experiencing some sunk cost fallacy enjoyment of their own because BDSM is complicated and they had to learn skills, and quite possibly purchase equipment to do it properly, and go through the mental effort of planning the scene
Thoughts On Submission
I don’t really like the whole “I’ve made myself an object for men to use” thing I see with a lot of bimbo stuff, like for me that wrankles because of the lack of agency involved and because like, for me, objectification and submission and all of those things are very very intensely about the personal relationship I have with my partner. I do not exist to please men, any more than I exist to please the entire population of New Zealand, all people with blonde hair or all dip pen artists.
Submission is to the particular for me, never to the general. I am my master’s dog. He’s the only one who can pat me and not get bitten.
I also don’t like the idea of generalized submission, like because I’m group X I have to submit to people from group Y, I want the reason I submit to be personal, not general.
I want it to be like “Well you knew my methods and you hired me to teach you to be a proper lady and you could fire me but you’re not going to because you know I’m right”
or
“Well you admitted yourself to this experimental mental health treatment program and we were completely transparent about what the program entailed and you knew what the consequences for failing to fill out your journal entries would be, and now you can either leave the program or accept your punishment, no one forced you to be here this was your idea.”
or
“You asked me to let you worship me as a god, you’re free to go, but as long as you want to keep me as your god, you will do as you are told.”
I don’t like my BDSM to mirror oppression, something that happens to me outside of my control, I get enough of that in the real world, I like it to be much more of a “You knew my methods when you signed up for this pottery class, I don’t care if you’re embarrassed, you can leave and even get a full refund or you can strip naked and wear your ‘I didn’t pay attention to the kiln temperature and everything in it cracked’ sign and continue to learn from me” situation or a “this is the terms of service for ACME Co Orgasm service they are very clear and easy to read, and you actually can cancel with no repercussions at any time but failure to abide by the TOS will result in penalties or termination of service, at which point you will be free to see any of our many competing orgasm services,:
Like I get some women find dd/lg relationships really soothing
and healing and helpful, but like stop reblogging shit I’ve written to your dd/lg porn blog.
It’s not for you, your dynamic skeeves me out and even though I acknowledge the hypocrisy of my stance given my own peccadillos, but you know what?: I’m allowed my discomfort and please just stop.
Basically: Don’t use vanilla people as props in your scene
Cause that’s not cool, they didn’t sign up for that.
Being a female sub and as sexually selfish and self focused as male subs as feminist praxis.
I learn from you little motherfuckers, when I write erotica this is my standard. Like pegging, it’s an act that pretty much involves no physical stimulation for the person giving, and a LOT for the person receiving, and yet the receiver is being submissive by taking it?
Mhm, yeah, nah, you’re getting waited on, motherfucker. I write fantasies about doms putting a fuck ton of work in and subs getting to enjoy it without actually contributing a lot.
Because fuck you.
That said in my own bedroom, joy and generosity from all to all, but I’m gonna make my wank material as selfish as I fucking want.
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 