Tag: leftism

bubblegum-pwussay
replied to your post “TBH if you married a rich dude to be supported”

Woman shouldnt be judge for marrying a rich man and expecting him to be a decent human being

Here’s the thing though, if he’s supporting you, and he’s rich.  He’s essentially paying you to be married to him.  Now he’s rich, he’s not paying you for domestic labor, he can hire a housekeeper and a cook if he wants and if he’s that rich, he’s specifically choosing to marry a woman who cannot earn as much as he does supporting her through education or whatever…okay maybe, but if he’s saying “okay, you stay home” he’s choosing that for a reason and that reason isn’t “he loves you and wants to take care of you” that reason is power.  The reason will always be power.

Like happening to end up taking care of your partner is one thing, and it’s also a very different thing for a working class or like non-rich person to support their partner (which is usually because the domestic labor is helpful), but if you’d be screwed without them but they wouldn’t be screwed without you, there’s a pretty obvious power dynamic and I feel like people like to pretend love conquers all and transcends class barriers and all that, but it doesn’t, money’s still a thing, power’s still a thing and like the person with power over you, even if they were a super good, super benevolent person (which if they’re rich, given the way the world works, they’re probably not source included) they’re still human so what do you think’s going to happen when you have a fight?  What do you think’s going to happen when they feel underappreciated, or like they’re not getting all the love and attention they deserve (and are used to because they’re rich and used to getting their way)?

Also science proves rich people are straight up bad people:

A source on cross class marriages 

A book on the wives of rich men

Rich people are straight up more likely to lie cheat and steal

Powerful (and rich) men are more likely to cheat

And another study confirming that yes indeed, rich men are really really really prone to being chronically unfaithful

“Men were also more likely to cheat if they made significantly more than their spouses, while women who made a lot more than their husbands were less likely to be unfaithful.

“

Men with stay at home wives are more sexist

Rich people are selfish

Rich people are literally willing to steal candy from children

And they think it’s good that they behave this way

Expecting a rich man not to cheat is like expecting a sheep not to eat a flowerbed. 

Actually expecting a rich man to simply behave like a decent human being ever is frankly asking a bit much.  So like marry rich by all means, but don’t make the mistake of trusting the fucker.

Holodomor

I think Holodomor wasn’t an intentional policy so much as the result of bureaucratic error, organizational issues and informational bottlenecks and the fact that their systemic issues created the possibility of that situation is a much stronger indictment of their system than if they were just monsters, because like if it was just them being monsters, it lets you off with the idea that “this system could work if we had good people in charge” whereas if it was informational bottlenecks and organizational problems, then it indicates that the proposed system is unworkable even with the best of intentions

IDK I Think It’s Shitty The Way People Shit On Prole Women For Wanting Stuff with Like

Roses and lace and Rhinestones and whatever because it’s “not tasteful” and it’s like “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s really easy to choose the sleek minimalist number or tasteful little thing when your life isn’t hard and sad, also like taste is subjective and maybe yours is only seen as good cause your group dominates society, or y’ know WHATEVER”

How did the right become the side that appeals to the libidinal? Like we’re the ones who’ve always been about sex for pleasure and making sure you get to eat tasty shit and say what you like. 

How is it we’ve gotten the reputation of being the ones who want to guilt trip you for wanting a new TV when communism is the only system that could really deliver material plenty on a mass scale?

I mean isn’t censorious moralizing sort of what the right’s always actually done?

I blame the dour white contingent of the 60s new left.

TW: Rape, domestic violence I want to talk about solutions

I want to discuss options for dealing with gendered violence in Leftist societies and organizations. If we don’t believe in prisons, what are the possibilities for dealing with people who commit acts like these? I know a lot of people support a very “guilt on accusation” model of dealing with these thing and straight up killing people accused of this stuff or banishing them immediately and completely, and as a survivor I have some sympathy for that outlook, but I also know that as a survivor my abuser/rapist used allegations of abuse against me to isolate me and further his control over me and so I honestly think that in order to protect victims due process and having some sort of burden of proof is a necessity.

Additionally, banishing someone from one community without followup work allows them to move on to another community where no one is aware of their behavior and even if we do our best to keep people informed it doesn’t seem to me to address the root of the problem (meaning why it happened in the first place). I’m not sure if every perpetrator is irredeemable… and I mean if we believe in prison abolition and the like, don’t we sort of have to believe in the possibility of redemption for people who’ve done truly terrible things?

I also see accusations of rape and rape apologism getting thrown around a lot in radical spaces and people dealing with them in a variety of ways that don’t seem to do much to actually fix the problem. I also see people who have no experience dealing with situations of sexual violence being called rape apologists for being unsure in dealing with said situations. I’ve also seen COINTELPRO people use allegations like these to destroy and discredit organizations and people (it’s funny the only place an allegation like that is likely to destroy someone’s life is in leftism, everyone else is peachy)

Also I think sometimes people get all torches and pitchforks while ignoring the survivors actual wishes and that seems fucked up to me, and I also think that there are issues when notions of radical consent bump up against ideas about how everyone whoever violates consent is undoubtedly and unquestionably a monster. I mean like, I know that when I was younger I got drunk and had sex with a lot of other people who were also drunk… and like that was fucked up, but I don’t think I’m a monster. I think because we live in a society where people aren’t taught about getting good consent and in fact are taught the exact opposite a lot of the time, a lot of people who aren’t monsters have failed to practice good consent.

I’m not in a good place, I’m very triggered right now and am disassociating a bit because I’m dealing with a good friend being accused of rape by their rapist and having their entire life destroyed because of it and it reminds me of what happened to me and how toxic and unnuanced the left can often be about stuff.

IDK what to do about any of this because obviously sexual and domestic violence and ignoring survivors is a huge issue.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the right solution is.