“She’s like a French waitress from space” – My then girlfriend’s father to her

“She doesn’t look like a communist” – My brother’s teacher 

“I was coming back from the conjuring and I saw a woman dressed all in white, and then she disappeared, and I got super freaked out” – My brother’s then boss.

“Why is she dressed like Scarlet O’Hara?” – Different then girlfriend’s father (I think he meant Miss Scarlet from Clue because I was wearing all red)