You wanna know why I take so many selfies?

Because I spend two hours a day painting a new face on top of the old one and spend like a half hour forcing my hair to cooperate, and then at the end of the day I wash off the new face. Nearly every day. So I like to commemorate the effort that went into my face

Though Actually Imagine Makeup Guru Deadpool

Starting with Vanessa teaching him how to minimize his skin issues and then getting really into it.
Getting excited going to Sephora
Practicing on captured super villains
Demanding beauty tips from captured super villains
Helping other superheroes with mutations look normal to blend in when they need to and putting tutorials on his youtube channel
Recommending products that won’t come off on your mask.
Doing makeup for other people with scarring/skin issues/other shit people are shitty about and making them feel beautiful on his youtube channel
Wearing super bright eyeshadow
Swearing by bio-oil
Loving false eyelashes
Having a super popular instagram
Making jokes about his skin type being “crispy”
Having a million bright red lipsticks cause it’s his favorite color.
Wearing them on his very worst skin days to make himself feel better
Doing a “the power of makeup” video
Getting an “inspiring” buzzfeed article.
Doing Vanessa’s makeup and then messing up her lipstick.

Honestly deadpool in the movie?

Nothing you couldn’t mostly hide with strategic brow pencil, and a good foundation/primer routine

One good trip to Sephora and you’re good

I want there to be a cosmetics line that does makeup specifically for very dark and very pale skinned people (but also for people who have trouble finding their undertone, so basically anyone who isn’t the three shades of medium Becky every makeup company makes)

I think you could call it like Black and White cosmetics and do like foundation/powder/concealer/contour stuff, blush, and nude tone eye shadows and lipstick for underserved skin tones (the beautiful thing is you could do a line mostly for poc and people couldn’t whine about “reverse racism” because you could be like “we do cosmetics for white people who have trouble matching their skin in most lines too” and they’d be like “fffffffffffffff”)

Life’s fantastic when you’re plastic #barbie #makeup

And again Dworkin is ahistorical.

“

Men, of course, like a woman who “takes care of
herself. ” The male response to the woman who is madeup
and bound is a learned fetish, societal in its dimensions.
One need only refer to the male idealization of
the bound foot and say that the same dynamic is operating
here. Romance based on role differentiation, superiority
based on a culturally determined and rigidly enforced
inferiority, shame and guilt and fear of women
and sex itself: all necessitate the perpetuation of these
oppressive grooming imperatives.
The meaning of this analysis of the romantic ethos
surely is clear. A first step in the process of liberation
(women from their oppression, men from the unfreedom
of their fetishism) is the radical redefining of the
relationship between women and their bodies. The
body must be freed, liberated, quite literally: from paint
and girdles and all varieties of crap. Women must stop
mutilating their bodies and start living in them. Perhaps
the notion of beauty which will then organically
emerge will be truly democratic and demonstrate a
respect for human life in its infinite, and most honorable,
variety
“ – Andrea Dworkin

For most of human history in most societies, men did as much beauty labor as women and often more. Girdles and makeup were for both men and women. Look at most of fucking history, everybody fucking wore fucking makeup and did their fucking hair. Modern dudes are a weird lazy shitty exception.

Not to mention the CONSTANT criticism of women who look “unnatural” or who are “deceptive”. Plastic surgery, makeup, all these things are things men want made invisible, a perfection that does not show the labor involved (yet another case of men insisting on women’s labor not being labor) and appears to have occurred naturally, so men don’t have to think about the work involved, in fact many men believe makeup is deceptive and should be abolished so that we can be graded like livestock.

Refusing to regard it as productive labor (and part of humanity, because we ALL FUCKING ADORN OURSELVES) obscures the fact that as with emotional labor women are performing a socially necessary function that men do not do their fair share of, while men insist that women hide the fact that his labor exists/is laboe

Everyone looks better with makeup on (I probably just believe this because I have mild face blindness and emphasizing your features makes it easier for me to tell you apart from other people)