Internal family systems is such a great therapeutic method and I love it.

And sure I increasingly resemble the mentally and emotionally unstable heroine of a gothic novel, but what do you expect? Me not to increasingly resemble the mentally and emotionally unstable heroine of a gothic novel? That’s just ridiculous.

Also I Do Miss All Of You

I’ve just been a mixture of seriously depressed, in serious hardcore asskicking therapy, and working on my novel

Me: I’m feeling sad and anxious.
Me: Did you take your anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds today?
Me: I don’t see how that’s related.

I’m thinking of taking out a life insurance policy

To give myself a reason not to off myself for at least two years… it’s not just Trump, this year’s been hard emotionally and financially, shit happened in the IWW that really broke shit and broke up my friend group.

There are people who hate me for no reason, think I’m a monster…. I’m scared of losing my access to healthcare. I had a brief fucked up relationship with a woman outside of my marriage and it ended badly and I feel horrible and disgusted with myself for it even though I was completely honest about it. I hate my body. I hate my own neurosis and inability to consistently do things most people do.

I determined to stay and fight but I’m worn out and was never much good to start with. I’m getting older and I can see the signs of it. I just don’t want to hurt the people I love…. and yes this is me seeking attention, yes this is a cry for help because I feel this way and I’m scared and please help me.

Do You Ever Just Wonder What’d Happen If You Just Sorta Leaned In To Your More Energetic Fucked Uppedness?

Sometimes I wonder. I feel like it’d be some serious Sid and Nancy with no Sid and double the Nancy, death-ride shit. Not in a glamorous way, obvs, in a HOOOLY SHIT YIKES way.

I’m emotionally and physically exhausted and I think I did something bad to my wrists when I slipped on the French potato salad dressing and I just want my period to come and it to be over so I can stop hating myself so much.

Also WHY CAN PEOPLE NOT BEHAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES.

If you need me I’ll be in bed listening to Freud. If you wanna destroy the Providence IWW local now’d be a good time because I’m not going to be around to stop you.

Sorry in advance for being so intrusive, but what mental illness are you referring that you have? I’m mentally ill myself and I don’t think my mental health could handle sex work as a profession. (Or any customer job.) Being employed is tough with these issues.

it’s no problem, I’m very open about what I have. Add, ptsd, pmdd, was severely anorexic when I was a teenager which is one of the reasons I couldn’t finish high school, I’m on a cocktail of a fuck ton of meds to be even as functional as I am