Dude: I’m having trouble with my macbook pro disk drive, it won’t eject a disk
Me: Alright, well try the eject button on your key board
Dude: That’s not working
Me: Try restarting it and after the chime hold down the left mouse button until it ejects
Dude: *Moaning* still nothing.
Me: Try command-E
Dude: *groaning intensifies* still nothing
Me: Okay open the Terminal Application in your Utilities folder, and enter /usr/bin/drutil eject
Dude: *Has intense orgasm*
Me: Whatever floats your boat, man
Tag: niteflirt
Niteflirtvale
“Please introduce yourselves” say the woman on the line, as she always does, is it your imagination or has she started to sound like she’s pleading with you?
“please stay on the line” and the music always comes, the infernal music. You can’t seem to get it out of your head, how did it go? do-doo-dee-doo? It haunts you
“1 minute remaining” and you have the unsettling feeling that they mean it more than usual
The woman in the background of the website smiles her eternal purple smile, why is she smiling? You will never know… or if you do know you’ll wish you didn’t.
The woman in the purple wig in the banner ad looks at you, she can see the depths of your soul, she knows your sin. “Speak to your desire” she whispers, but you don’t want to talk to him again,
Who is that voice crackling and distant on the other end of the line? What did he just say he wanted you to do to him with a jar of bees? The buzzing on the line gets louder, louder, ever louder.
The men’s section is a mass of chaos, is the submissive men section meant for submissive operators or submissive callers? Who are these voices in the ether? Is anyone really ever at the other end of the line?
Between fantasy and couples there is a section labeled other, you must never go there, it is forbidden.
How many demons ply their trade in the femdom section? How many souls have they consumed? How much is fantasy? You can find out, it’s just a phone call after all.
In a tiny font, at the bottom of a user agreement you see a text in ominous yellow letters “NF Services operated by Strexcorp”
Some Dude Who Didn’t Buy A Photo Set or Do A Cam Call Just Called Me Fat On Niteflirt
I think I might have been eating breakfast when he called, and I’m like “Dude, you know what’s gross? Cold toast, so no I am not waiting for your ass to come to eat breakfast”
Fuckin’ dudes.
11 Hour Guy is just entering hour 3 of one of his epic phone domination calls
Good for 11 hour guy. I applaud you for getting this stoned and weird.
Dude just threatened to report me to niteflirt for not providing him with extra services for free.
fuck this guy.
I’ve said “linkdin” like 20 times on this phone sex call
Life is weird
Still Want To Send My NF Clients A Recording Of Me Singing Camp Grenada… Very Badly
And label it “free: My sexiest audio ever”
Singing Along To The Niteflirt “Asking your customer if they would like to pay your rate to continue the call” music
Doo-doo-doo-do-do-doo-doo
I hope none of my customers ever hears me doing that