Who don’t think my baby cousin is an actual person.
Like that’s fucking creepy. People who are really really nice to me don’t think people who are my friends and/or my family members are people. Like if they were just straight up mean that wouldn’t be as horrible somehow, there’s something so creepy about people who are really nice and really friendly to you, but then turn out to regard other people’s lives as being worth about as much as an ant’s.
I can’t be “polite”, I can’t be calm or “reasonable”. I’m going to get fucking upset at you, and act horrified and aghast.
Treating my defending my friends as if I were claiming the toaster is a person and has human rights will just get me really really pissed off.
Intent actually is fucking magic *if* you actually act the way people normally do after accidentally injuring someone. Like you stop doing it, and apologize. If you responded to someone informing you that you stepped on their foot by shouting “well I didn’t mean to!” And refusing to move? Well see then your intent doesn’t matter and you’re an asshole
Like I think that style of behavior exists only as long as there is someone to dominate.
The behavior of oppressors is as much a result of their being oppressors, as much, if not more than, the behavior of oppressed people is a result of being oppressed.
Which is not to say they’re not benefitting, they are, but their behavior is still modeled by the fact that they are an oppressor class, that they have someone to oppress, that they get away without fulfilling their obligations to the rest of humanity, that they are above certain rules.
Which is not to say that how we behave as an oppressed group is the model of freedom either.
This post isn’t about criticizing oppressed people for not being nice enough, or any of that shit. Because that’s self defense, that’s different.
I guess I mean like “manliness” is often about showing disregard for others. It’s masculine to sit with your legs wide open on the subway, and dress like a slob and put zero effort into your appearance and you get away with showing no consideration for anyone else because you’re reminding marginalized groups that they’re in an inferior position. Masculinity is a performance of superiority, of contempt
I’m here for all the prole women who got called trashy for a look that later showed up at fashion week.
I’m here for all the WOC whoever got mocked for their style innovations and expressions of their cultural heritage that later showed up at fashion week.
I’m here for all the queer women who got shit for haircuts that later showed up in Cosmo.
I’m here for everyone who’s had their style mocked by the same establishment that turns around and claims it as their own 5 minutes later.
For example, in my husband’s home country of New Zealand, diabetes was a really common health problem for Maori and Pacific Islanders for many many years, but whenever the labor party would try to introduce bills to do health initiatives to deal with this National (New Zealand’s big conservative party) would smack them down as “racist.” (which is bullshit)
So eventually labor got clever, and passed a general diabetes health campaign, which wasn’t specifically for Maori and Pacific Islanders, made access to treatment and prevention a lot easier for everyone, and of course those groups for whom diabetes was a common problem benefitted most from the program, but National couldn’t say shit because “What, do you hate people with diabetes, or are you a racist, do you want a white’s only diabetes program?”
And rates of diabetes and complications from diabetes went down dramatically for Maori and Pacific Islanders and that’s how you sneak crap under the radar.
Like it’s unquestionably shitty to have to do that, but I think the material good of people not dying of a treatable illness kind of makes it worthwhile to make an effort to do things like this, because it’s effective.
Like, you center an issue that’s primarily an issue for oppressed people, but don’t make it explicitly about oppressed people and you can sometimes manage to manipulate the shitty “equality means treating everyone the same” system (which needs to be changed, but that’s a bigger change than sneaking some crap under the radar which will minimize suffering while we’re working on the big change).
Like doing an anti-domestic violence campaign that was for “all genders” would probably do some useful stuff and get less flack than one just about ladies (but as a whole be more helpful to ladies, because ladies are more likely to be victims of domestic violence).
Many of the most successful affirmative action programs have been non-explicit in their aims, because they don’t create the same resentment and backlash, and while it still sucks that their is resentment and backlash and it’s important to try and change that, it means that the programs get to do the work they’re supposed to do without being at as much risk of being instantly dismantled.
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 