Tag: perfume reviews

Giorgio by Giorgio Beverly Hills

So I tried this on last night and it is AMAZING… from a distance, get up too close and the intensity makes it sort of hard to actually tell what you’re smelling, like how music becomes too loud to actually distinguish the melody of after a point. It is big, and sweet, and juicy, like peach juice and creamy flowers with the darkness of oakmoss underneath.

This is the 80s, big and loud and in your face and it doesn’t give a fuck whether it offends anyone. This perfume is all big hair and heavy makeup. It smells like a glam metal groupie over the top, sexy, while remaining light hearted and fun (and I oughta know).

I will say it says “follow me, boy” though if you get too close it’s so strong it may knock you right out of your spandex pants.

A word to the wise though: DO NOT OVERSPRAY

Cape Heartache By Imaginary Authors

Piney, cedary fuckin’ strawberry magic with a wistful and contemplative edge.  It smells like a sweetly sad forest by the sea (also I typed beforest three times before I managed to do that right, I have no idea what that’s about).

Dries down to a subtly sweet cedar smell, like an old wedding dress with a lingering whiff of sweet perfume kept in a cedar chest.  A house on the coast filled with memories, summer sun, and empty rooms.  

It’s like piney strawberry cedar heaven that makes you think of summer vacations during your childhood (or someone else’s imaginary childhood) and want to cry a little bit.  Wandering through bright empty rooms in a house you haven’t been back to in years, touching things and remembering.

Rouge Royal Elite by Princesse Marina De Bourbon

Tart and fruity, with a warm sweet heart, kinda like yours truly. This has a pleasing sharpness to it, I absolutely adore it. It lasts forever and has a tart realism to the fruits that more sugary fruity scents lack. On first spray it might almost be a little too tart, a little too sharp, but give it a second, it’s just getting started.

The vetiver and patch make a really lovely earthy backdrop to the tart fresh fruit smells, like eating strawberries during summer rain, and the amber binds everything together with its cozy sweetness, and really all in all it’s a lovely strawberry/raspberry bundle of delicious cheap joy.

Yum, red and juicy and just yum.

L’Elephant by Kenzo

CLOVE! Allow me to elaborate: Clovity clove clovey mother fuckin’ clove and some more clove. This is the most awesome clovey fragrance of all time it’s like you were buried in a truckload of pomanders and came out with clove super powers.

If this is the elephant in the room I want to talk about it, heck I want to talk *to* it, because this elephant smells delish.

Arthes Love Never Dies Gold by Jeanne Arthes

First time I sprayed this I was horrified, 
thought it smelled rotten or maybe petrified
but I was wrong
this perfume and I can get along

And that’s as much of this review as I can do as a parody of I Will Survive, anyway, this weird chocolate orchid mushroom scent is kind of awesome, it’s sweet and wet and earthy and dirty but edible and weird and I love it for that. 

Honestly, it’s stranger than Black Orchid by TF and it has this weird earthy dirty freshness to it, it’s like hot parched earth getting rained on, it’s like filthy sex in the shower, it’s got like hot/wet hothouse and maybe a little bit of rot but only in the most pleasant way scent to it.

I love you, weird chocolate mushroom.

Sensuous Nude by Estee Lauder

Maybe it’s because I hate coconut (smells rancid on my skin) but I do not like this one bit, it smells like something fruity/milky that’s gone a bit off mingled with sweat to me.

It’s sweet, but it’s like the sweetness of something decaying in the summer sun.

I have .5 oz of this.  Who wants to trade me pretty much anything for this.

Guerlain My Insolence

Sugary and tart with some fruity/vanilla yumminess in their. It’s fresh and sweet and really delicious. I was expecting something more powdery and the citrusy zing and floral freshness in there really surprised (and pleased me). 

It’s like meeting a lady you know is named Myrtle but have never met before, and you assume she’s going to be sweet and 75 or so and basically an adorable little old lady, but BAM nope it’s a 25 year old hottie, with a wit as sharp as a tack, and you’re totally charmed and completely shocked