Also one of my subs can finally stop putting goddamned sharpies up his ass because I finally convinced him to buy an actual goddamned anal plug
Tag: prodomme
Sure my job has benefits
Benefits like getting to respond to “I love you” with “I know” all the damn time.
Me instructing a sub: Fuck the jalapeno condom, c’mon now
You Know
I’m pretty sure there hasn’t been a day where at least one person hasn’t come thinking about me in years.
IDK that’s weird to think about.
Some Tips For Getting A ProDomme To Like You
- Spend LOTS of money, and pay before demanding any labor (duh, obvious.
- Have fetishes that aren’t unpleasant/labor intensive for us to perform (the more uncomfortable the fetish wear you want us to wear the more likely it is we don’t like you, preferring cuffs to rope if they aren’t explicitly a rope top is A+++)
- The more creative and interesting your fantasy the better, I have clients who included like elaborate outlandish/creative role play scenarios and I love them the most, and like I had one call with a guy that was just four hours of elaborate world building of like a kinky fantasy world. It was awesome.
- Check if we’re in a comfortable position during footworship and if you’re kneeling HOLD UP OUR LEG, holding it in one position forever is exhausting.
- Crossdressers who bring their own makeup and especially makeup brushes will end up looking a lot better than those who don’t.
- Don’t whine about the rules, they’re there for a reason.
- Speak up if you’re having a bad time during the session, not after.
- Never EVER use the phrase “Whatever you want” unless you really mean WHATEVER including non-bdsm activities and me just going and reading my book.
- If we’re doing a cam session or whatever, pay for the time used in doing costume changes you want. It’s just polite.
- Don’t be offended if we lie to you about our personal lives, they’re called personal lives for a reason.
My last nite flirt call
Involved an imaginary matriarchy where we harvest men’s teeth to make lesbian engagement rings
An irritating sub called me for like a minute on Niteflirt
and gave me his home number and demanded I call him at home to blackmail… so I put on “Never Gonna Give You Up” and called him up and put him on speaker phone.
I think I’m going to do this every morning at 4 AM for a week to teach him a lesson.
I’ve found a way to make a living that let’s me write both stripper heels and statues of Baphomet off on my taxes
I win.
A Sub Was Trying To Get Off While Paying Me Next To Nothing
And was like “can you link me to an outfit you’d like to see me in?”
So I linked him to this:

The Prodomme In Harlots
Is everything. She is me. I am her.