Someone named a line of sex toys “Joy Division” (which again if you’d bothered to do an IOTA of research is like… stunningly fucked up and awful, oh and they’re German. How the fuck do you even?)
Tag: rape tw
The fact that people
don’t want to acknowledge that rapists will absolutely accuse their victims of having raped them to deflect attention from themselves is rape culture and it’s disgusting.
You know I think one of the problems
Leftist orgs and communities have with handling sexual assault is that we just kind of believe we all automatically have the expertise to deal with those situations because we hold certain ideals. Like no, there’s a traumatized person who can respond in all sorts of ways including not wanting to talk about it or have anyone know about it (and not even because they feel unsafe disclosing, but like sometimes you just don’t want to think about it ever again) and balancing the needs of survivors with people’s safety and shit is hard and sometimes situations are complicated like when two people got blackout drunk and neither remembers what happened and yet we’re just like “we know how to deal with this situation because we’re morally good and oppose rape culture” and it’s like… you can really have those ideals but that doesn’t mean you’ll have a fucking clue how to help or what to do if something like that happens?
Like we believe because we hold certain beliefs we automatically know what we need to do to help survivors of rape and abuse but like no, even if your heart is in exactly the right place most people don’t have the knowledge and experience to know how best to proceed.
Like our DIY ethic ain’t really doing us a lot of favors here. This is a skill we need to get training on. I’m a survivor myself and I don’t have a fucking clue most of the time. I feel like a lot of leftists believe that ideals can replace expertise… like because we want to eliminate scarcity or whatever we automatically know the best way to do it, or like because we take the hardest line anti rape stance we know how to prevent it or handle the fallout when it happens
I fucking hate my job sometimes
Well I just had a client talking about his trouble resisting his urge to rape and murder an underage girl
As A Rape Survivor
I find it really icky and uncomfortable seeing people who aren’t survivors get super into the whole like “vengance porn” thing. I don’t want to be your vicarious “I Spit On Your Grave” thrill. I don’t
I don’t like it when people take up their torches and pitchforks without asking the survivor what they want and need and the way stringing up the person the mob is mad at (is relatively simple and emotionally satisfying to people) often takes precedence over caring for the person who’s been traumatized (which is hard and kind of a bummer)
And yeah I dunno when people are like “Awww yeah” to a rapist getting killed or whatever I’m like “…” because like I’m glad the they can’t hurt anyone else but like ultimately the thing is, there’s still this profoundly traumatized person out there and it still *happened* and it feels like IDK people sometimes almost like that there are monsters like that so that they can enjoy watching them get their comeuppance and that feels icky to me.
Vengeance doesn’t fix PTSD, doesn’t heal trauma, doesn’t undo what’s been done and so like I wanna see you cheer for survivors getting what they need on their own terms. I wanna see you cheer for efforts to prevent this shit from happening in the first place. I want to see you cheer for breakthroughs in the treatment of trauma, but people don’t cause it doesn’t satisfy them as much as seeing the villain getting thrown off a cliff.
I don’t like my pain being used as a justification for other people’s violent catharsis, an excuse to indulge in their worst impulses
And sometimes I wonder if because rapists and so on are the current acceptable outlet for all those repressed aggressive impulses if at least some of those people who’ve never been raped, cheering on the beheadings and disembowelment of rapists and what have you, sort of tacitly approve the existence of rapists and/or on some level oppose or refuse to support the prevention of rape or don’t believe in the possibility of prevention because for them it’s emotionally inconvenient not to have a group that it’s justifiable to torture.
As A Rape Survivor
I find it really icky and uncomfortable seeing people who aren’t survivors get super into the whole like “vengance porn” thing. I don’t want to be your vicarious “I Spit On Your Grave” thrill. I don’t
I don’t like it when people take up their torches and pitchforks without asking the survivor what they want and need and the way stringing up the person the mob is mad at (is relatively simple and emotionally satisfying to people) often takes precedence over caring for the person who’s been traumatized (which is hard and kind of a bummer)
And yeah I dunno when people are like “Awww yeah” to a rapist getting killed or whatever I’m like “…” because like I’m glad the they can’t hurt anyone else but like ultimately the thing is, there’s still this profoundly traumatized person out there and it still *happened* and it feels like IDK people sometimes almost like that there are monsters like that so that they can enjoy watching them get their comeuppance and that feels icky to me.
Vengeance doesn’t fix PTSD, doesn’t heal trauma, doesn’t undo what’s been done and so like I wanna see you cheer for survivors getting what they need on their own terms. I wanna see you cheer for efforts to prevent this shit from happening in the first place. I want to see you cheer for breakthroughs in the treatment of trauma, but people don’t cause it doesn’t satisfy them as much as seeing the villain getting thrown off a cliff.
I don’t like my pain being used as a justification for other people’s violent catharsis, an excuse to indulge in their worst impulses
Male Stoicism is backed up by an incredible amount of emotional labor from women
Like men are able to get away with never expressing of requesting help with their feelings because women are trained from a very young age to observe men, watch for signs of emotional need and environmental stressors and deal with them without being asked. It’s why women worry constantly about emasculating the men in their lives but men never worry about “efeminating” the women in their lives.
Men are “stoic” only because they don’t have to communicate in order to get their emotional needs met.
On the flip side, the only reason this is an issue is because men are taught from young to hide their feelings and be emotionless and strong. Its beaten into them (literally for some) and that kind of conditiining is hard to break out of. This is why I tell my boys its ok to cry and be upset. The only thing I dont allow is hitting and throwing. Physical aggression will not be tolerated in my house.
Very sensible. I also think that men aren’t taught to deal with each other’s emotions, and help each other through shit the way women are.
Or we’re conditioned to adhere to what ever compartmental definition women need to use to justify some kind of superiority of a none existent moral high ground in stoic silence. As if the act alone of approaching a women with romantic interest makes him a dog, when in all probable reality she has had more recent and sexual engagements of lesser emotional value. Our wants, needs, desires are turned against us as being something trivial and childish
IDK I feel like when you’re a dude whose tumblr title is “your personal rapist” you probably are kind of a dog.
“More recent and sexual engagements of lesser emotional value” still doesn’t mean you’re not creepy, dude.
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 