Tag: sex work

Some Tips For Getting A ProDomme To Like You

  1. Spend LOTS of money, and pay before demanding any labor (duh, obvious.
  2. Have fetishes that aren’t unpleasant/labor intensive for us to perform (the more uncomfortable the fetish wear you want us to wear the more likely it is we don’t like you, preferring cuffs to rope if they aren’t explicitly a rope top is A+++)
  3. The more creative and interesting your fantasy the better, I have clients who included like elaborate outlandish/creative role play scenarios and I love them the most, and like I had one call with a guy that was just four hours of elaborate world building of like a kinky fantasy world.  It was awesome.
  4. Check if we’re in a comfortable position during footworship and if you’re kneeling HOLD UP OUR LEG, holding it in one position forever is exhausting.
  5. Crossdressers who bring their own makeup and especially makeup brushes will end up looking a lot better than those who don’t.
  6. Don’t whine about the rules, they’re there for a reason.
  7. Speak up if you’re having a bad time during the session, not after.
  8. Never EVER use the phrase “Whatever you want” unless you really mean WHATEVER including non-bdsm activities and me just going and reading my book.
  9. If we’re doing a cam session or whatever, pay for the time used in doing costume changes you want.  It’s just polite.
  10. Don’t be offended if we lie to you about our personal lives, they’re called personal lives for a reason.

AND ADDITIONALLY

If anyone’s like “BUT IT’S THE 18TH CENTURY”

I know that motherfucker, and guess what?  I’VE READ A BUNCH OF STUFF ABOUT AND BY HISTORICAL SEX WORKERS AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S MOTHERFUCKING HILARIOUS?????

It’s the same.  It’s always the fucking same.  We joke around behind Johns’ backs and our lives are like… often really normal.   They’re not super dramatic action packed nonsense like this and I’m just sick of being endlessly ENDLESSLY portrayed as simultaneously tragic and unceasingly disloyal and immoral (like telling Quiggly about Emily).  We’re usually sort of bawdy and snarky and tough.

Nancy and Violet are both totally real though and I love them

Whorephobia in Harlots and Harlots Fandom

Honestly, a lot of the fandom is whorephobic and terrible and a lot of the writing is whorephobic and terrible (and lazy and unrealistic) 

Like Haxby is a little shit, your ship is gross.  He’s been blatantly, unforgivably HORRIBLE to Charlotte. 

The ship with Marney is honestly amazing because it’s two sex workers who get the biz, who get each other being together HOWEVER it’s being handled in the shittiest fucking “Let me take you away from all this” way and I hate it.

Sex work is being treated as ultimately demeaning and degrading REPEATEDLY

All the misery porn, all the suffering, the fact that Lord Scumbag turned on Charlotte just to make it so that no one could be good at this and be okay with their work, all sex workers have to suffer.  They should have let him continue to be the kind of client he is, an impotent pouty man-child who wants the glamorous status symbol and is vexed by her, but like… doesn’t turn massively spiteful and over the top vengeful because he’s not even that determined.

The type of suffering, in my experience as a sex worker, is unrealistic.  It should be the moral crusader as the main antagonist, not the rival madame.

The fact that they’ve made pretty much all of the notable clients sadistic fucking monsters says a lot about their view of sex work and sex workers, most clients are just… dudes who want to get off and be told they’re real good at it.  You don’t have to make them the antagonists but the writers CHOSE to.  They chose to make another madam and the clients their main antagonists when there are SO many other options.

We’re not helpless victims, our clients are largely not monsters.

Can our work never be portrayed as just work?

This should be a lot more slice of life and a lot less over the top and I’m honestly just SO fucking angry with so many of you.