I’ve Had a Guy On The Line For An Hour

and he’s wasted and we’re just making Monty Python references back and forth. What even is my job?

I love being brutally honest with clients who are trying to get off without spending money

Sub: what’s Your first thought when a sub goes under?
Me: depends on the sub.
Sub: for me?
Me: “Well, he’s under, better get him finished before his money runs out.”
Sub: haha, damnit.
Sub: do You use hypnosis with almost everyone You speak to?
Me: Nope.

The Four Most Important Words To Know As A Sex Worker

“Fuck you, pay me.”

Also alcoholics are the best/worst clients

Cause they’ll drop like a couple of grand in your lap sometimes for no fucking reason but also they’re a nightmare to deal with and they get more irritating as they degenerate.

Dude when the prodomme who you’ve been talking to for years (whose expressed that she find you repulsive sexually AND who you know is married)

doesn’t wanna go out with you, you haven’t been friendzoned, you’ve been clientzoned and you’re lucky to be in any zone anywhere near me.

TBH I Learned My Sex Worker Hustle

Working in a secondlife strip club (when I was in an abusive relationship and not really allowed to leave the house) before I started working in a real strip club so like… y’ know?

Client Called me a Cunt Today on The Phone

but he spent like 400 bucks so it’s fine I guess.

Give me a working class client with a good union job

over a rich entitled fuck any day.

The ones who work for a living are so much more gracious and tip so much more generously.

I Think I just Figured Out Part Of Why Business Has Been Bad

I’d been forgetting to bother dudes on skype for months lol

Also like this is where a lot of your kinkcritical

nonsense has gotten us, as per fucking usual if you’re not careful IT FUCKING HURTS SEX WORKERS.