You know? I’ve always like Johnny Depp’s movies. I think he’s a talented comic actor and find many of his characters charming and I’m STILL 100% with Amber, because you could be fucking IDK Meryl Streep or whatever, the greatest actor or actress ever. You could be Sarah Bernhardt, and you’re still a piece of shit if you abuse your partner.

Why is seeing sexual content bad for kids?

I’m not questioning whether it’s bad for kids, it’s pretty obvious it is, but like there have been numerous societies where due to space constraints one ended up sharing a room with your parents which meant seeing em go at it now and then. I think that the difference is probably that then it wasn’t an act that by merely being visible to the child involved the child. Cause then you were all sort of crammed together and like tuning each other out/ignoring each other was kinda the point but here and now, you don’t fuck in front of your kid unless on some level you *want* your kid to see, which sexually involves the kid who can’t consent due to the power differential and so that’s fucked up, similarly, you don’t show a kid porn unless it’s somehow tickling you to show them porn, which then becomes an aggressive act again. Which is why like kids who walked in on their parents by mistake are grossed out but not eternally traumatized, but kids whose parents intentionally got it on in their presence are. Ditto for kids who managed to find their parent’s stash of erotica vs kids whose parents intentionally showed them porn. Does that make sense?

So I’m Going To Talk About Something Kind of Uncomfortable

I feel like social justice culture doesn’t really have a good solution for the fact that abusers often do claim victim status. My abuser accused me of being the abusive one, to maintain control over me, used the fact that I sometimes fought back when he hurt me as evidence of my abuse. I was battered, and isolated and he was sociable and popular.

How do you think that would have gone had we been involved in political organization? Even without that I was expelled from what remained of my social group, people believed I was what he said I was.

I’m not saying that believing survivors is not paramount, or that we as a society do not have a huge problem with brushing aside true accusations as malicious or false. I’m saying that maybe the vigilante guilt on accusation model focuses more on punishing the guilty than protecting the victim sometimes. That sometimes it is more interested in wielding its flaming sword and feeling righteous than assuring that its flaming sword is used in the cause of righteousness.

There have been cases of positionality protecting abusers in political organization. There have been cases where mutual accusation lead to the political organization shrugging its shoulders and expelling both parties. And I have seen first hand cases of survivors shouted down as rape apologists for criticizing the witch hunt way organizations went about handling things AND seen abusers and rapists unscathed by accusations because their victims were afraid to come forward because of how well they’d seen those vigilante systems work to their abusers advantage. As well there are numerous people who would benefit from being able to go through an accountability process who are afraid to use them because they don’t want to see the person who harmed them unintentionally painted as a monster and marked as such for the rest of their life

Okay So Like People Who Ship Kilgrave/Jessica

I’m not mad at you, ok so I’m kind of mad at you, but mostly, I’m fucking terrified for you, how much has society trained you to normalize and accept abuse to have this be a fucking thing?

How many of you are going to fall for someone who will take you apart piece by piece, and you’ve been trained to believe that’s romantic?

How many of you are going to think it’s dreamy when they won’t let you say no?

How many of you are going to mistake their rage for passion?

How many of you will accept their sob stories as an excuse?

How many of you are going to die because of what you’ve been taught love is?

So Genderswapped Rick And Morty

Beth/Ben: Thinking about dude Beth, we’ll call him Ben I guess, actually makes you realize what an abusive monster Beth is. Like imagining Ben treating Jeraldine the way Beth treats Jerry? Fuck that’s a seriously abusive relationship. Like Beth has essentially prevented Jerry from ever growing up and has crushed every trace of agency and personality from him. Imagining cowering none too bright Jeraldine with shitty nasty but smart Dr. Ben is awful. Probably gives his mom shit for failing to do feminine gendered labor.

Sort of like this

But a monster

Jerry/Jeraldine: A severely battered wife, chosen for vulnerability because Ben has abandonment issues from his ma, terrified of her husband, desperate for her daughter’s approval. Trying really really hard not to show the hell she’s going through. Emotionally vulnerable

Summer/Winter: Probably like a together punk or emo dude, like a better looking more together version of Robbie from Gravity Falls, you know, moody, grouchy, can be a real dick, but basically decent underneath it all, way more together than his family and kind of smug about it. Has a decent job, does okay when it comes to girls, all around a together if moody and often self centered guy.

So kind of this genre of look-ish:

Morty/Molly: Basically like Meg from the early seasons of Family Guy (so good hearted, basically of unremarkable appearance and intelligence, unglamorous, but you know fundamentally a decent human being and all) with a little bit of Tina from Bob’s Burgers (kinda pervy, kinda weird). People tend to draw this one pretty much right.

Rick/Rochelle: Okay so the “absolute genius and total wreck of a human being” isn’t a character archetype that’s almost ever female, like male examples include House, Hunter S. Thompson and kind of the whole Keith Richards variety of rockstar. It was actually really interesting to think about what the lady equivalent is, and what I came up with is interesting, generally the whole wildly inconsistent, self destructive genius thing in women is accompanied by being kind of glam, like Cat Marnell or Amy Winehouse, and actually the male examples are too, but it’s just buried under a layer of drab masculinity, so like House has his motorcycle and flash electric guitars, and Hunter S Thompson has wild clothes and badass cars and Keith Richards is Keith Richards and even Rick has a kind of weird charisma and parties like a rockstar. So Rochelle is a lady with a mess of a beehive, and fabulous makeup that’s kind of caked on that she’s been wearing for three days, and like she’s probably broken a heel on her fabulous shoe. She’s kind of an aging drunk cabaret diva, kind of a 65 year old nihilist party girl, and absolutely the least nurturing person on earth. She doesn’t have the moral compass to be an actual feminist, but fucking hates sexism because she’s had to put up with it for fucking ever. Probably tells Winter “Eh you’re a whiny little boy” when he asks why she won’t take him on adventures, probably makes fun of Molly’s fashion sense. Dealing with dude scientists in like the 60s is probably one of the reasons she left earth, would tell Ben the fuck off (but also be nasty to Jeraldine for taking his shit, because again Rochelle is a horrible person). Has sex with the pool boy.