Tag: weird shit

My Family Has Some Weird Stories

The time my mom accidentally married the son of a Nigerian diplomat and had to get the college chaplain fired

The time grandma smuggled weed over the Mexican border under her pregnancy clothes in the 60s

The great great grandad nearly died in a trench regretting not finishing a can of corned beef.

The time my parents were offered a job working for the CIA

Great Grandma’s brother chopping half her thumb off while chopping wood.

The time the Texan branch of my dad’s family owned that gay bar

The time great grandma disowned grandma for marrying grandpa because he’d been married before

The time Janis Joplin threw rocks at Grandma

The time the Canadian police brought a murderer to other Grandma’s house to weather a blizzard

The time Abraham Lincoln lost our libel suit.

The time great great great great Grandpa killed a bear with a knife when he was 83

Also The Other Day I’d Ducked Outside A Restaurant To Take an NF Call

and this random dude walks up to me while I’m still taking the call, and just like… waits… and waits… and waits, because the dude was taking an effing long time to come.  

Finally he hands me his cell with the note taking thing open and I see “Are you interested in sunday evening, donation?” and so I took his phone and wrote back “What?” because like maybe he recognized me from an ad, maybe he didn’t, but anyway then D came out and chased him off.