Talk about the misogyny in male dom porn, or relatively vanilla porn, the very obvious shit, slapping, pain, crying, very few people discuss the misogyny in femdom or the subtle shit and when you talk about only what’s blatant you reduce the iceberg to not just what’s visible but to the very highest peak of the damn thing and everything else just gets hand waved away. This is actually a problem.
Femdom shows us patriarchal ideas about female power and I think that’s interesting.
It happens a lot in femdom circles. Or at least the ones I run in. A lot of men come into the scene asking questions like, “Do all dommes require chastity?” or “Do all dommes force you to crossdress?” or “Are there loving dommes?” and the #1 answer is always “stop watching porn and meet a real woman.”
But yeah, femdom porn always shows the domme being cold and angry, it’s still 100% about the sub’s dick (sometimes the domme doesn’t get off at all, or only with a “real”, i.e. dominant, man), it’s all about what’s attractive to the sub (why are the men in porn so ugly?), and don’t get me started on how sissification makes femininity humiliating.
ETA: There’s also a lack of penetration because misogyny says penetration is inherently dominant/conquering and of course a sub can’t have PIV with his domme, that’s just not subby, doncha know.
As a prodomme and lifestyle sub… I see a lot of the porn shit, it’s what I do for a living and even if they’re not cold and angry they’re coy and using their “feminine wiles” to assert dominance. Also the attire associated with female dominance is uncomfortable in the extreme so that’s a whole thing.
I mean like feminization can be that (and it is with a lot of subs) but in other cases it’s the crossdressing that came first and it’s a sort of forced bravery/absolving them of responsibility thing.
I really want to make maledom porn that works like femdom porn (so is entirely for the gratification of the sub)
I write fanfiction that’s basically my ideal for femdom porn? Which is entirely on mutual satisfaction but heavily weighted in favor of the domme.
And yeah, I know #notallsissies, but so much of it has some kind of inherently humiliating aspect to it, it’s just a squick for me. Crossdressing, sure, that’s fine, but “oh, it’s so humiliating for me to look like a woman, look at me flounce around because that’s how I think women act” is just… no.
Yeah no that bit’s definitely icky. I like pointing out that “what makes a sissy a sissy isn’t that they want to wear women’s clothes but that they’re too cowardly to do it without being forced” to clients.
And yeah I write erotica too… that’s based on my fucked up fantasies and is really all about the sub getting serviced and catered to (in weird ways given that I am a masochist)… now I’m thinking about Freud and his statements about the narcissism of persecution fantasies… that’s the kind of sub I am, “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME, SETTING UP ELABORATE TORMENTS FOR ME, BECAUSE I AM SO IMPORTANT”
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel 