Tag: feminism

Dear tumblr,

I need to ask you a favor.

Pretty much all comments on my youtube are just men being incredibly gross and frustrating and that’s really not the kind of comments section I want to have.

Please just like… watch 30 seconds of  a video and leave some other kind of comment.

I promise I’m super funny and charming.

Here’s one of my videos

Here’s a typical terrible comment

The fact that Gloria Steinem ADMITTED to informing to the CIA on the actions of her black radical comrades and is still considered to be a relevant and respectable feminist figure just goes to show the reactionary character of liberal feminism.
💩💩💩

IDK I Feel Like The Way Women Are Often Socialized To Deal With Bodies and Beauty and Shit

Really fucks you up, and fucks up your relationships with other women a lot of the time.

Like sex work has really changed a lot of my perspectives on shit because we live in a society where women are told that their primary value is their sexual desirability and nothing else they do matters if they’re not hot, and like how you know if you’re hot or not is how many men want you, and like we’re told men are these constantly horny lust machines with essentially identical parameters for what’s desirable and so anytime there’s a guy who doesn’t want you, you must be defective somehow.

And like hotness in this worldview is objective and sort of a zero-sum game and like it leads to a really shitty competitive thing between women and like IDK maybe I’m really gay or really primarily gay or something or it’s partially just being a sex worker, and really having the whole “yeah, I know I’m desirable” thing because work really covers that need for me, but like I don’t have that feeling towards other women and like I’m not saying “Oh I’m so good for not being like that, look at how good I am” or anything cause like it’s just an acculturated thing and like I don’t know how to deal with it, but like it’s come up in like my sexual relationships with other women where like they’d literally tell me that whatever about my body or appearance made them insecure somehow or like that attention I got from men made them feel hurt, and I’m also not saying “Oh, I’m secure in my position as hottest, I win” because like there are definitely like circles in which I’m not the babeliest babe or whatever because I don’t appeal to that demographic and my girlfriends would sometimes get more attention than me in those and like I didn’t care because like “the hot girl chose me, so…” so I didn’t mind them getting attention and like my girlfriends have all been really gorgeous in my opinion, and I don’t think hotness is an objective quality or a zero-sum game at all, but like it’s just really depressing that that’s a thing and that like “But I’m with you” isn’t enough to turn the culture of competition into something else.

And like I see young women jockeying for position of “resident hottie” in various spaces (usually male dominated spaces) because society has told them that’s what they have to be to be valid, and like if you want to do stuff in a male dominated space you have to be the hottest girl or there’s sort of no point and it’s just… like depressing and fucked up and like IDK when I was younger, and not doing sex work, I did often hang out in places with lots of boys because they were all like… fairly nice to me because I was decorative and like I liked some of the same stuff they liked so it felt good to be there, and like I probably would have felt pretty upset if another girl had come along and I’d sort of ended up in the cold because I wasn’t the pretty one anymore, and so like it’s a social dynamic that’s really perpetuated by men only being friendly or kind to women if they perceive them as sexually interesting and like how there’s only room for like a sort of “token girl” in a lot of heavily male interest circles, and so yeah I’m also definitely not saying that “look at these silly girls, hating other girls because they want to feel like the prettiest” because like it happens for a fucking reason, but it still sucks,

I feel like one thing I’ve noticed in the world is I get a lot more benefit of the doubt when I’m interacting in online spaces in a way that allows people to think I’m a dude, whereas if they think I’m a woman I have to carefully hedge out every obviously shitty interpretation of and potential objection to, anything I fucking say and it’s exhausting and fucking irritating as hell.

You Know…

I find that when you include trans women in your analysis of stuff that’s supposedly only an issue for cis women you actually get a way more complete and nuanced picture of the shape of patriarchy.

Like reproductive coercion often including forcible sterilization of trans women (as well as other groups of women the patriarchy hates especially hard), and like I was just thinking about how things considered to be “initiations into womanhood” are often socially considered to be marked by blood (menarche, loss of virginity) and then I realized that gender confirmation surgery for trans women is discussed a lot more than it is for trans men and talked about in terms a great deal bloodier and more violent than it is for trans men and I just think that’s really interesting (obviously one does not need to experience menarche, bleed during the loss of one’s virginity or lose one’s virginity at all, or go through gender confirmation surgery to be a woman, it’s just that society seems to consider these to be things that are initiatory into womanhood) so like basically whenever I think about stuff that’s supposed to be associated with uteruses and what not… I think there’s pretty much always something that’s like socially analogous that trans women go through and we’re never going to get rid of patriarchy if we don’t acknowledge that.

Hey so if you’re a chick with mostly dude friends

And your reasons for this aren’t bullshit like “girls are too much drama” or “girls are too prissy” you’re not a bad feminist, you just happen to have mostly guy friends, and that’s fine.

I have mostly guy friends because I have happened to end up in dude-heavy social spaces… and also because when I form friendships with other women they tend to get a little bit Heavenly Creatures and that’s y’ know… not great

Reading The Fascinating Woman has improved my marriage immensely by reminding me how happy I am to be married to someone who loves, respects and appreciates my artificial, promiscuous, heavily made up, wage earning, undomestic, bleach blonde, acrylic-nailed, fake boobeded, wisecracking self and not a motherfucking Mormon who thinks my value is diminished if I fucking wear anything that has pockets (that’s literally in here)