Tag: feminist

this is why there is no longer lab research on pornography.

antiporn-activist:

“Countless studies have since shown that exposure to pornography desensitizes men to violence against women, often shaping their sexuality in such a way that they become unable to experience arousal without some element of dominance or violence. The evidence has been so damning that, at times, universities have refused to allow further research on the topic. When a study shows detrimental effects that cannot be reversed, ethics boards will often refuse similar studies to go on. This has happened repeatedly with research on the effects of pornography.”

–Maya Shlayen, Whose Porn, Whose Feminism

Your research is bad and you should feel bad.

http://www.skepticfiles.org/atheist/porndoc.htm

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/200904/does-pornography-cause-social-harm

http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dr-laura-berman-on-love-and-sex/does-watching-porn-make-men-sexist/

http://greatist.com/happiness/does-porn-promote-negative-view-of-women

Basically porn only has those effects when it’s violent and misogynist (which images of people fucking do not have to be) and when the dude is already a fucking misogynist

Okay, so you know how there’s the stereotype that submissive dudes are all CEOs and politicians and whatever when they’re not tied up being called “Binky the cuckold” or whatever?

How come the equivalent is that all powerful women are really submissive?  Not that all submissive women are powerful outside of the bedroom, but that all powerful women are really submissive.

So like the assumption is that all submissive men are really powerful and all powerful women are really submissive… do you see why this is fucked?

I mean, yes I am a loud angry bitch outside of the bedroom.  I shout a lot and have very loud opinions and yeah, I’m a sub, but I think it’s more because hey, I’m like that fuckin’ CEO who needs a break some time (without being bourgeois slime) and not every loud angry shouty lady is a sub, some people don’t need a break.

Also how come dominant dudes are supposed to be Mr. Dominating and powerful outside of sex as well?  Like in my experience a lot of doms of all genders are really sweet and shy and quiet outside of D/s stuff and are really attentive, giving partners (D does so much sweet shit for me, like SO much)

Me as an edgy stand up comic: Oh look at me burning whale oil and wearing bloomers, I’m so politically incorrect, check out my cutting edge victrola.  I say the edgy things everyone thinks but is too PC to say, like that anxious people shouldn’t eat watercress because it’s too exciting to the nervous system, and that one must always wear flannel petticoats so as not to catch a deadly chill.  Yeah, I’m offensive, I’ll tell you that excessively flavored food ruins the complexion, unlike those boring PC liars.

Also Dear Fellow White People:

Let’s remember that the hyper-competent black woman who never gets a romance storyline and carries all the white people on her team, is not a progressively written character.  The trope exists to justify the centuries old bullshit of treating black women like unlovable beasts of burden while white women get to be treasured decorative objects to be protected (which is a better position, don’t lie, like it’s not ‘actual person’ good, but it’s a biiiig step up.)

Like she’s cool and she’s a badass, but she deserves to get to be vulnerable, and treasured and loved and not treated like an expendable resource rather than a lovable and valued human being.

Like I don’t think my sex life is revolutionary or the solution to patriarchy, but my breakfast also isn’t revolutionary or the solution to patriarchy.

Like questioning whether I can be a feminist based on what I do with consenting adult (at this point there is only one) in my bedroom sounds an awful lot like questioning my “sexual morality” or “self respect”.

Leave me alone, not everything I do has to be revolutionary

I Feel Like a Lot Of People Who Get Upset By Other People’s Consensual Sexual Practices Have Boundary Issues.

Like I’ve seen so many “ANTIANTIANTI-BDSM” feminists, and all of them seem to feel like A: All women must like the same things they like and experience all sensations the same way they do.  B: Anything that’s happening to a woman is by the transitive property happening to all women.

IDK, it’s interesting that there’s the same fallacy repeated over and over.

Who’s Afraid Of The Superfreaks: Why Women With “Gross” Fetishes Are Important

Trigger warning: This article discusses many deeply disturbing fetishes, including play rape, vomit, blood, fantasies of mutilation, murder, incest. Basically if it’s disturbing, it’s in here, so please proceed with caution.

Our society has a lot of stereotypes about female sexuality.  That women don’t like sex as much as men, or don’t like sex at all, or if women do like sex they certainly aren’t into freaky upsetting shit the way men are.  Porn for women is all about gentleness and soft focus and not being too “dirty,” isn’t it?  Women don’t want footjobs, right?  You won’t see ladies watching Hardcore Anal Twinks 6 or having bloody sexual fantasies that aren’t about Edward Cullen, or getting aroused thinking about having bugs crawl over their junk (that’s totally a thing and I’m sorry I told you about that, entomophobes) or wanting to piss on someone or be pissed on or both.

Except these are all things which turn some women on, so in a society where female sexuality is a commodity, why don’t we ever talk about it?  Because female sexuality is treated like a product and a woman telling the world that she gets off on the idea of cooking and eating her sexual partner isn’t a salable product to most people.  Women with fetishes like these, the ones that unsettle and disgust, are occasionally a punchline on some shock-jock’s radio show,  but most of the time these women are invisible.  Male fetishists are something most people are aware of: the foot fetishist, the guy who buys womens’ dirty panties to sniff, the dudes into the darker gorier stuff.  But women’s sexual desire is rarely seen as truly disturbing, truly threatening to men… sure women’s sexuality is often portrayed as a weapon that can be used against men, but women’s actual desires?  Almost never.

See, I’m a fetishist myself, and believe you me, many of my kinks are upsetting to men… or everyone. These range from the “doesn’t work in real life, but we can roleplay it” gore, mutilation, human sacrifice (in the interest of not seeming as awful as I might, I will clarify that I fantasize about being the sacrifice, not doing the sacrificing, and it’s not being killed so much as tied to an altar and fucked a lot during strange arcane rites… okay it’s still pretty bad) and medical fetishes (okay well I got my breast implants partially to satisfy the last one, so yes “It Happened To Me: I Got Elective Surgery Because I Am A Terrible Pervert” there were other reasons, like self expression and not having enough patience to wait for them to come out with implants that allow me to shoot lasers out of my nipples) to the simply upsetting, like the desire to call my husband mama, which to clarify is in a southern way, not an infantile way, my transformation/extreme plastic surgery fetish  (the mommy kink plays well with this one, and the human sacrifice one because there’s a whole death and rebirth angle that works for me… and have I mentioned I have a troubled relationship with my mother?) and my belief that Silent Hill is an ideal setting for romantic trysts, to the ones that merely upset dudes, like my being a big fan of dominant men in lingerie, and my deep love of man on man action, to the simply baffling like hedge mazes, time lapsed videos of flowers blooming, and human head hair (I just really like long hair… in a creepy obsessive way), and I find that being vocal about the wonderfully grotty, exquisitely vile nature of my actual sexual desires, absolutely ruins me as a masturbatory fantasy for a lot of dudes when they’re actually exposed to the grotesque tableaus that form the basis of my actual sexual desires and if there’s anything I love more than viscera and hedge mazes it’s ruining masturbation sessions for men who aren’t paying me.  Talking about it is also a great way to make sure a guy hitting on you leaves with a look of unrelenting mind searing horror in his eyes, having had the veil ripped from his eyes like he protagonist in a Lovecraft story, except that instead of Cthulhu, he saw the nightmare landscape that lurks inside the head of someone he thought he wanted to fuck.

Lest you think me an exception I put out a call to my blog followers and tumblr in general and got an outpouring of responses from enthusiastically helpful ladies and lady-ish people of various genders on their most socially unacceptable personal kinks.  We have feeders, furries, people who want to fuck dudes wearing cat ears in the ass with strapons (actually I have so many friends that want that, I’m pretty sure that it’s on a par with Ryan Gosling in terms of things women think about while jilling off), blood lovers, lactation fetishists, and so many more!

Anne:

“Alrighty, here goes, then. I am all about sex, all kinds of sex, ranging from the most saccharine vanilla to both ends of the BDSM spectrum; but one of my most intimate kinks, the pièce de résistance to my personal gallery of decadence, is – gasp – necrophilia. My necrophilia belongs purely to the realm of fantasy – although I find putrefaction aesthetically pleasing, rotting meat is hardly a turn-on – but I find that there is something deeply romantic about it. To me, it represents the 1/absolute helplessness that comes with falling in love – extended to the physical body. Because of its nature, the sole fact of sharing this fantasy with someone is a deeply bonding experience. I have a bunch of other quirks that can be considered sexual or masturbatory to some extent; emetophilia  [Madeira’s Aside: Emetophilia is a fetish for vomit] porn on my hard drive; a cutting habit that I am rather open and unapologetic about (not encouraging anyone to self-harm here, it is simply a part of my own narrative); that kind of thing  Those have been taken as challenges of some sort by my some of my sexual partners (fortunately not many, but then again this is not something I share before  before a certain level of intimacy). Mostly guys who dabbled into BDSM stuff. Sorry for the shitty metaphor, but – consciously or not – they seemed to see my kinks as a wild stallion in need of taming; something powerful and fascinating that they would take pride in mastering/topping/branding as their own. Obviously, that never happened the way they planned. I have come to realize that’s how it goes for my personal, intimate kinks,”

If you still don’t think women like this are as common as men like this, keep in mind that I got a message from Anne on my blog almost immediately after I put out the call and my blog has about 2,000 followers, which even if they’re self selecting for more kinky than average…suggests that the Annes of the world aren’t exactly super rare.  Anne is awesome.  We love Anne.

Emma:

“Sooo…I’m into gore (especially blood) and playing dead, and also cannibalism role play.  And lots of other things like piss play and doll play and (explicitly non-food-based) slime.  Like, scenarios involving being dead and cut open are super hot to me.  Here’s a blog post I wrote where my partner and I ended up role playing that they were cutting me up: [REDACTED]

I have not been super active in finding community for my weirder kinks.  Partly because my experiences in the “regular” kink community where I live have been so bad.  The scene in my city seems to be especially predatory, and submissive or bottom-type women get chewed up and spit out pretty rapidly.  I have had some really affirming experiences in classes at major BDSM events, though, including [REDACTED]’s class on edgeplay and taboos, and this awesome couple [REDACTED], who teach on topics like doll play and gross-out play.  It makes me really happy to be around kinksters who are really chill about weird kinks as long as they’re practiced ethically and consensually.

My current partner is very relaxed about basically everything I’m into, and we’ve explored lots of stuff together.  Since I knew they were into things like tentacle sex and blood and dollification before we even really got together, it’s been easy to be open about stuff with them.  Previous partners have been a little trickier—my college boyfriend couldn’t even deal with my mentioning I had cramps, so I figured that bringing up period sex because I like blood would not go over well.  And even the first boyfriend I really got to explore kink with was not at all into “weird” stuff…even piss was really pushing it with him.  I brought it up at some point I think, but he was uncomfortable with it so we dropped it.  He was cool with occasional brother/sister roleplay, though, so at least that was something…”

Emma hits a lot of notes I’ve seen a lot of women report.  If I’m going to speculate (and I am) I’d say that on average women are more likely to be desensitized to blood and gore, as even if a woman does not mensturate herself, she is almost certain to be deeply familiar with the process, and thus blood due to its connection with genetalia is more likely to become an erotic fixation.  I have no idea if it’s true, but it’s a fun little idea.

Michelle:

“What would you count as a gross fetish? I have a big breastfeeding/erotic lactation fetish which some might cringe at. Also ageplay/incest play are kind of creepo fetishes I’m into.”

I revel in seeing so many women love so many rich and varied bodily fluids, and no I’m not kidding.  It’s nice to see how diverse and varied human sexuality can be, why just today I had a call from a sub who fantasized about having his balls replaced with bull testicles.

I love how abstract humans can make sex.  I love how varied we are in terms of how we want to have sex, and  I really mean that, it warms my heart to see how unique and individual human sexuality is.  We’re ghastly and beautiful and so very very heart wrenchingly human and honestly I just want to type little hearts in here because humanity is so miraculous ❤ ❤ <3.

Nadia:

“Mine isn’t that bizarre, but my ‘out there’ fetish is undercuts or good haircuts that involve shaved sides. My last partner was into it and reacted by keeping her hair shaved on the sides. I liked thinking of rubbing my genitalia against it, and how it would feel. I got off on it a lot and I’ve kidded with my current partner about the fetish because she’s more vanilla than my past partner. I’ve never understood the fetish but I haven’t come across anyone in the community who shares it.”

Haircut fetishism is actually fairly common, especially either close clipped or very long for the unique tactile opportunities they offer, but the “genetalia on head” aspect puts a fun twist on things.

Most of the women I know who are attracted to men:

“I like fucking dudes in the ass with a strap on while they wear cat ears”

Beth:

“I have some “gross” fetishes! I am very into rape fantasy and play. I love the thought of being forced into sex, and forcible orgasm or orgasm denial. I have fantasies about being killed and/or killing someone at the point of orgasm. I also love extreme humiliation (as in someone yelling very bad, derogatory words at me while fucking me), all sorts of non-con slave/sub play, and being raped with weapons – guns, knives, etc. It is extremely hard to discuss my desires with my partners.”

I almost cut this quote out, frankly because it disturbed me, but that would be to betray the purpose of this article and Beth herself.   I hope she is able to explore her desires in a safe, sane and consensual setting with an understanding partner.

Lindsay:

“Is it odd to fantasise [sexually] about being murdered? Idk it’s probably also something to do with suicidal ideation, because sometimes when I’m making a plan to kill myself, it’s more like fantasy, and I get a little excited, especially if it’s gory, bloody? I dunno if you’re done with your article yet, but if not, you could talk to me about that? Might be interesting. (I’ve been mulling over sending this for hourrrsss, lol).”

Apparently a lot of people are really into having threeways with Eros and Thanatos.  That joke was extremely inappropriate.  I cope with all of my emotions with humor, it’s probably not healthy.  

Elise:

“Well, I tend to like male weight gain, males as prey (and females as predators, it’s the vore thing), male/male furry stuff, force feeding men, men with hiccups (the confusion and weakness they show when pointing that out). I draw commissions of ladies being and doing all of the above, but when I occasionally post a male in the same situation, suddenly I get an influx of interestingly negative feedback about how awful and gross I’m being. I’m a service/fap material provider, but the stuff I draw for not-commissions isn’t exactly welcome in my galleries (my largest follower count is nearing 5k, and I’m in demand enough to charge 180úsd/image)

People generally tend to think I’m male, and if they know I’m female, their first contact is most often outrageous flirting and suggesting I ought to post images of myself (for them to fap to). When I tell them no, they either get aggressive, defensive or act hurt in some way. Usually I only get them to stop by telling them I have a fiance.

Regardless, I still have about 4 people who have continued to message me for years despite me blocking and reporting them at every turn.

So, people tend to objectify me heavily because of the stuff I post for commissions, for stuff other people have paid me to draw.

When I post the stuff I like, people tend to be really grossed out and send messages about how it’s disgusting and stuff. Somehow my own fetishes make them not want to message me… so I guess that means I’m less objectified when drawing my own stuff. Most of my followers are men and seem really insecure about being shown as weak, sexually inexperienced or in any way that is not 100% perfect and macho.”

I don’t think this needs any caption, it sums up everything that I’ve been saying.  Men love their own kinks, but often times when presented with a man as the object of even kinks they themselves like, they get really freaking upset.

All of these women are lovely people.  All of these women have kinks regarded as disturbing by the outside world, and yet when you think about it, when was the last time you heard about a woman keeping men imprisoned as sex slaves in her basement, about a woman committing murder for a sexual thrill (it does happen, but it is very rare)   Sexual violence is not a result of how dark or unsettling your fantasies are, but a result of how easy it is for you to disregard another person’s humanity.  Women are socialized to view men as human, as fully human in a way men are not socialized to view women as fully human.  Women like these are important in part because they shatter patriarchal myths about womanhood and female sexuality, and because they present a model moving forward of how you can have the most disturbing sexual fantasies imaginable and never harm a living soul (or fuck an actual corpse).  This is not to say men with disturbing fantasies always act on them, obviously the vast majority do not, but statistics show that men make up the majority of serial killers, rapists, and other perpetrators of sexually motivated crimes.  This is not because women do not have the same incidence of violent or disturbing sexual fantasies, but because women are more strongly socialized not to act on them, and to view men as human… well lookie there, whole lot fewer horrible sex murders committed.

If after all this you still suspect that women are sexually less perverse and more squeamish than men, go look at Y! Gallery, Fanfiction.Net and anywhere else women look for something to fap to, look into the abyss, who knows, you might find something you like.

Why I Think Drastic Plastic’s Just Fantastic

As a culture we have some contradictory attitudes towards plastic surgery.  Actually our attitudes towards plastic surgery are almost universally negative.  We think it’s it’s unnatural, it looks gross, it’s immoral, and it’s so so so sad that women feel the need to do this to themselves.  Celebrity gossip mills love nothing more than a botched plastic surgery story, and adore running lists of “plastic surgery disasters” that inevitably take a finger wagging, morality fable tone

On the other hand as a society we love to pick women’s bodies apart, and have nothing but scorn for any woman who isn’t “beautiful”, creating a demand for the very thing we denigrate. We talk about women’s “imperfections” as if they were a list of code violations on a condemned building.  We talk about who can and cannot wear red lipstick, white pants, bangs, a low cut top, blue eyeshadow or a bikini.  We talk about who “needs” foundation, and why we need to hide our wrinkles, but that doesn’t mean we’re comfortable with artifice, we talk about who looks to fake, too orange, too slutty.  We talk about keeping makeup tasteful, natural looking, effortless.  Celebrity gossip mills love an “aging badly” or “worst beach bodies” or “celebs without makeup” story just as much as plastic surgery disasters, or makeup malfunctions.

To me there is a damned if you do, damned if you don’t quality to all of this.  We talk about how we as a society don’t value natural beauty enough, how women ruin their natural beauty trying to look better, and isn’t that sad?, and how isn’t it lovely that so and so is naturally beautiful and hasn’t felt the need to get plastic surgery?

It seems the only acceptable plastic surgery, the only plastic surgery that doesn’t lead to such intense media handwringing, mockery and outright horror is plastic surgery that looks “natural.”  If it looks “natural” we either graciously pretend nothing happened or are oh so pleased for the person.  Though even then, if the secret is revealed suddenly it’s back to shock and horror and “isn’t it so sad.” and “I was never fooled for a second.”

The problem isn’t that we value artificial beauty over natural.  We value natural (or at least the appearance of naturalness) plenty.  The problem is that we value a woman’s’ appearance over every other quality she has.  If a woman isn’t beautiful, everything else she’s done or said is discredited, worthless.  

As feminists we tend to be critical of the culture of plastic surgery, of the fact that women worth is so defined by their appearance that many women who can’t afford to go to a board certified plastic surgeon die every year from black market procedures and many more suffer horrific injuries.  

However, all too often this turns into just another version of the “bad plastic surgery freakshow”.  We shame women who’ve gotten cosmetic procedures, and perpetuate the idea that “natural beauty” is valuable while “artificial beauty” is not, while not questioning the basic premise that women should be beautiful.

Frankly, it reminds me of how makeup was treated in the Victorian era.  Artifice was seen as tasteless, immoral and demeaning to the purity and virtues that were supposed to belong to good submissive women.  Women decried it as tasteless and only for women of little virtue and men were said to detest the stuff (which most of them did, a man who caught his wife or daughter wearing makeup was often violently angry) and yet somehow mysteriously despite society’s staunch pro-natural, anti-artifice stance when it came to beauty women wore the stuff because the Victorians being an even more shittily patriarchal society than today believed a woman’s chief value was her beauty, but then as today didn’t want to be “fooled by womanly trickery” and so women wore it and many women died due to unsafe formulae used by the unregulated industry.  Similarly, in the 50s and 60s women’s hairdos required rollers and yet allowing your husband to ever see you wearing rolles was unthinkable.  Beauty guides during times of most intense patriarchy routinely feature tips about maintaining the illusion that it’s all completely natural.

Men as a whole, do not like plastic surgery, google men’s opinons on it and you’ll find men resoundingly think it’s wrong, represents insecurity, and a whole bunch of other shit.  Similarly read [this post http://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2013/01/29/mgtower-wearing-makeup-turns-women-into-darth-vader/ ] about an MRA’s rant about makeup and you’ll get a general look into how angry men are about artifice as a whole.  So, if men hate plastic surgery and makeup why do so many women feel they have to wear makeup or get plastic surgery?  Well it all comes back to that whole beauty thing.  As long as we have a single standard of beauty, and as long as we treat women’s value as entirely based on how well they fit that standard, no matter how much we insist that natural beauty is superior, and that artifice is just awful, women who’ve had the misfortune to not meet that standard naturally will try to meet that standard because we have the standard so intensely ingrained in our society, and as long as we have the whole “only natural is good” thing, those same women will do everything they can to hide what they’ve done, to make it look natural.

Patriarchy wants women to fit the beauty standard it’s laid out perfectly, but it doesn’t want to know how much labor is involved, and would frankly prefer if women couldn’t alter their appearances at all, so that they could be evaluated like livestock.  They don’t want women doing what in the patriarchal mind is the equivalent of sticking ginger up a horse’s ass to make it look lively and thus valuable.  When we continue to uphold natural beauty as a value (and when we say natural beauty we mean a very narrow kind, let’s be honest) while trashing artifice, what we’re actually saying is “I think there should be a hierarchy of value based on genetic traits that largely affect appearance” and if that doesn’t sound fucking eugenics-y as hell to you, well then, you might want to look in the mirror to check to see if you’re actually Karl Pearson.  

So this brings me to drastic plastic surgery, to the stuff that looks unnatural, and is blatant in its unnaturalness.  That stuff breaks the illusion, and if done intentionally revels in doing so.  Amanda Lepore is stunning and frequently appears on lists of “plastic surgery disasters” and yet her appearance is intentional.  She looks the way she does on purpose and is pleased with her appearance.  Frankly, I think she looks stunning, her appearance is a work of art, an act of self expression rather than any desire to conform to stock beauty standards.  Most drastic plastic surgery has some relation to current beauty standards but has gone on to the other side of them, revealing the artifice, treating plastic surgery as a means of body modification rather than something used to “fix” a perceived flaw and yet for some reason women who’ve had plastic surgery (especially plastic surgery that doesn’t appear natural) are considered “acceptable targets” by nearly everyone, feminists included.  Now how the fuck is that okay?  Even if you believe that the only reason anyone would ever get cosmetic surgery is because of body shame induced by the patriarchy, how is it okay to participate insulting a woman’s body when you claim that you’re trying to stop women feeling the need to alter their bodies to be more attractive.  

When I hear a self described feminist describe a woman who’s had plastic surgery as fake, disgusting, scary or any of the other nasty words we use for women who’ve had the audacity to go under the knife for aesthetic reasons I am frankly ashamed.  How is it we retain this blind spot in our ideology of body acceptance?  What do we want a woman who’s had plastic surgery to do, go back under the knife to reverse what was done to suit our aesthetic whims?  Aren’t we supposed to be against people getting themselves cut open to please others?

Even if a woman’s reasons for surgery are based in self loathing isn’t it victim blaming to attack her and not the culture?  Also at this point haven’t we accepted that things like makeup can have nothing to do with self hatred and everything to do with self love and self expression?  So why can’t plastic surgery?  Why do we still discredit women’s voices based on what they look like?  A woman’s appearance whether it is the result of genetics, plastic surgery or anything else should not be up for discussion every time that woman speaks.  Male feminists choices about their appearance never call their devotion to feminism into question, but women’s choices are so fraught that I’ve seen like three “I’m a feminist and I got breast implants and here’s my lengthy justification for why it was okay for me to do that” articles on here, and what I hate about that is that those women’s appearances should not be up for discussion.  If she had gotten six breast implants placed randomly at various points on her body, her appearance should still not call her politics into question. I’ve had my breasts done, my lips and nasolabial lines injected with fillers and botox in my forehead.  I also have piercings in my nipples, ears and my nose, tattoos, unnaturally colored hair, and very very long acrylic nails and I’m not even close to finished

I’m not striving for beauty (at least not in the traditional sense), I’m striving for self expression, I’m striving for something monstrous and weird and honestly I kind of fucking hate the concept of beauty.  I am sick of beauty being something I’m supposed to feel rather than being a subjective evaluation of my appearance.  I see so many women saying “I feel beautiful when I’ve just succeeded in getting a promotion” or “I felt beautiful when I held my child for the first time” or “I felt beautiful when I succeeded in climbing mount Kilimanjaro and looked down across the landscape beneath me” and it’s fucking shitty because the only word women can use to describe feeling triumphant, valuable, valid, worthy or just fucking good is beautiful, as if beauty is a prerequisite for all of these other good things.  It shouldn’t take feeling or being beautiful to feel worthy.  Have we really internalized the idea to be valuable one must be beautiful so deeply that we see it as more useful to tell little girls that “each and every one of you is beautiful” than to tell them “you know what, you don’t need to be beautiful” because they don’t, and because fuck beauty and fuck telling women how they’re supposed to look regardless of what we’re telling them to look like, and fuck attacking a woman’s physical appearance to insult her integrity, worth, or respectability.