Now that’s what I call a relatable problem

What’s the leftist equivalent of “my one republican friend”

Is it “my one democrat friend” or “my one tankie friend”?

Also the phrase “Whoever did this is one real sick puppy”

Can apply to both horrific crime scenes and horrific poop/vomit situations… and which of those you mean is highly dependent on tone and situation and I think that’s grand

“My gastrointestinal problems are not funny,” it said crouched on the toilet like a shit-gargoyle

I was blessed by a group of angels as a baby… hells angels

I’m sorry but my approach to sex (which is to say only while listening to Schoenberg’s atonal compositions and while wearing gas masks) is correct, everyone else is wrong and should be punished

Retail worker stories should be called retales.

In Sweet/Vicious the actress who plays Ophelia is named Taylor Dearden which sounds suspiciously like Tyler Durden which I think is really funny

A dominatrix, an episcopal priest, and an actor walk into a bar

this isn’t a joke, this is a description of me going to a bar with my two brothers.

Funny thought: Imagine a har finishing althaia and the hienama is like “alright now you get to pick a new name” and the har is like “Bob” and everyhar else is like “…can he do that? Is that allowed?”

And then years later a young har is like “I hear that years ago you used to get to pick your own name, why’d we stop?” and the hieanama is like “I suggest you go ask Bob about that”