Tag: humor

All These Laws To Prevent The Abuse Of ADD Meds Suck

For one, why do I give a shit if somebody gets high?  I need my fucking meds.

Second of all, it’s probably easier now to get adderall and stay medicated if you don’t have ADD cause all the roadblocks they put up are ones that are WAY more burdensome if you’re forgetful, tend to lose things and be bad at keeping track of shit in general… like oh say somebody with ADD maybe?

I say if you want to reduce the amount of adderall misuse in the world they should only give you the prescription if you can’t find the prescription because an ADD person keeping track of a tiny slip of paper is a ridiculous expectation.

Also like just let people fucking get high, legalize the whole thing, let people do all the speed they want because that’s their choice and making sure people who need them have access to meds > protecting people from their own choices.

Some Of The Best/Worst Things I Have Made Subs Do

Superglue pennies to his nipples

Eat peanut butter mixed with dirt to see what would happen

Draw a zebra

Mix jizz with milk and drink the milk to see what it would taste like

Shampoo in the urethra to see what would happen

Put a broom up his ass and sweep the floor with it

put a peeled banana up his ass

Q-tip covered in icy hot down the urethra and light the other end on fire

Cover his dick in glitter glue and fuck the toe hole of an open toed shoe

Jizz on a cupcake and eat the cupcake

Go out and sell copies of the Industrial Worker so I can be Tony Cliff (this is only funny if you know a lot about Trotskyist cults)

Read Mao

Write “I am not a shameful jerkoff monkey so I will not act like one” 500 times.

Admit New Zealanders are sexually superior to Australians.

Read incredibly bad slash fanfic and then write me a book report

Learn French

Wear a moose hat draped in mardigras beads and nothing else and run around outside

Only masturbate while listening to the Benny Hill theme until he developed a pavlovian response

Have a fetish for sitting on cakes using hypnosis

Dress up as a jackalope and root through garbage

Play Secondlife with me as my dog.