and I was like “Dude, that is so not the kind of commie I am”
Tag: humor
Cthulhu, like Sponge Bob, lives in a city under the sea, unlike Spongebob, Cthulhu has no pineapple
*slick commercial dude voice* It’s long been a management myth that unions are something awful, that you absolutely want to keep out of your company, but did you know that in companies with a unionized workforce, workplace theft and sabotage drop by one third? What about the fact that union workers are 25% more productive than their nonunion counterparts? Need for disciplinary actions also drops dramatically in union shops as workers feel significantly more invested in the company.
No expensive team building retreats necessary.
Your company’s lack of a union may be costing you money.
If that doesn’t convince you, look at this sexy demonstration where we had an undercover representative film both union and nonunion staff. Look at how much more attentive and productive the union worker is.
Hiring nonunion workers may seem cheaper
now, but in the long run, union workers save you money.
Hire smart, hire union.
Or friends don’t let friends buy off brand labor.
or Union Labor: The superior choice.
or Union Labor: The Discerning Capitalist Parasite’s Choice
What if we tried branding organized labor as a prestige brand?
Like Bounty paper towels with those “don’t buy bargain brand paper towels” commercials. “Union workers work harder and smarter and care more about the company’s wellbeing. Sure it may cost a little more, but they’re worth it”
People are always saying that Abdul Alhazred’s name is Lovecraft’s self deprecating nickname for himself.
based on “all has read” and I’m like “Oh my god Howard, way to humblebrag you racist son of a bitch, that’s not even how Arabic works.”
Mix CD
Me: I made you this mix CD to show you how I feel about you.
Partner: This is just “Never Gonna Give You Up” and “The Internationale” 18 times.
Me: I think that sums it up nicely.
Me:*lounges on velvet divan in silk robe eating grapes*
Me: *realizes what I’m doing*
Me: I’ve achieved everything I want in life.
Meanwhile also in the world of vagina dentata:
“Are your vaginal dentures making you look older than you are? Try fixodent for her and your little secret will be well kept. Fixodent for her, for a woman’s special needs”
Meanwhile in an alternate universe where people have vagina dentata “Lesbian couple gets braces stuck together, have to be separated by EMTs”
PMS
My Hormones: What you really need to do is listen to Bonnie Tyler’s entire discography and cry.
Me: Wait… what?
My hormones: You heard me, Total Eclipse me!
Me: …really?
My hormones: Yes.
Me: Fine.
Me (five minutes later): *Sobbing* she just has really high standards.